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princess^sarah
Member

since 2001-01-12

Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-04-06 08:46 PM

The earth was cold and still
still as death....
The leaves on the trees shone
shone like a dear childs eyes.
the moon in the sky,
like the twinkling stars.

A gust of fire lighted
all changed to chaos.

Children crying,
adults screaming,
then everything was dead.

The earth had faded away,
away far far away,
the leaves no longer shone,
the moon was now gone.

An angel suddenly came down,
down from above,
and with a little wave of her wand,
the earth was now one.

Tears were flowing down,
cChilds faces.
they had lost there mothers.

For the fire will kepp burning,
Till the day is gone....

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-04-06 09:46 PM

"claps claps" i don't exactly knoe wat 2 say jus that was good real good sarah..

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-04-06 11:04 PM

There were a few spelling errors and grammatical errors, but other than that this poem was pretty good. It wasn't the best I've read from you, but you did a nice job on this. Keep posting.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-04-06 11:58 PM

I have to say that this is not the best thing work by you that i've read, but for a writer of your talent it would be hard for you to write something that wasn't still a pretty good poem. keep writing and posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-04-07 03:13 AM

This is very different from what I'm used to seeing by you. I liked this change. Very well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-04-07 01:25 PM

Yeah, great job Sarah. It's nice to see you exploring different regions of your poetic skill.

~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

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