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Teen Poetry #4
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Spinning, Spinning
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Spinning, Spinning |
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Vixengrl New Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 1 |
Hey everyone this is my first post, so please bear with me. But it would be really nice if ya'll could let me know what you think...Thanks. "Spinning, Spinning" Spinning, spinning. Blinding lights, frightful sights. Same old crap, another day, not really wanting to stay. Unsure of what I want, as if I'd ever get it anyway. People tearing me down, Unable to see, the misery that lies within me. Spinning, spinning. I must be lost, can't find the way. I'm living slowly, day by day. Should I want to be alive? Somehow I'm stuck on "survive". The pain tears me apart, slicing open my lonely heart. I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding. I'm needing, I'm needing. But the band-aids don't work, and I don't know what I need. Spinning, spinning. Now I'm getting dizzy, about to fall down, but I've already hit the ground. Gravity's pulling me, I can't break free, but I will never let you see. Blurry images have replaced my reality, I can hardly see. If I coudl only run away, it would all be okay. But it's too late for that. I'll close my eyes, then open them again. But when I do, I won't even see you. Because my head is Spinning, spinning. [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 04-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Vixengrl - All Rights Reserved | |||
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Welcome to passions!! This is a great first post, great emotion throughout and i liked the flow of this. Keep writing and posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Welcome to passions, I loved this poem and hope to see more of your work. Until your next great poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
 Welcome to Passions This is a good first post here, nice job on the poem! I hope you like it here and post some more for us  "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Very, very nice job on this!! You really captured your thoughts into words well. "But the band-aids don't work, and I don't know what I need." Heh, amen to that....Welcome to our wonderful world, and I hope ya love it as much as I do.  ~Carly Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY OF FRIENDS "PASSIONS" hope u like it here and yea i also liked the poem keep writin |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions! Hope you enjoy your stay here. I truly enjoyed this poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Welcome to Passions! This is a wonderful first post, but profanity, even when it is disguised by astricks, is still prohibited. If you have any questions, fel free to e-mail me. PS:check your e-mail!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This poem made me dizzy. heh  Seriously though, I think this was great. Excellent repititions, line size, flow... it all worked together quite well. I see from this piece that you have real talent... keep posting, reading, replying, it will help to improve and build on this skill of yours. Welcome to Passions in Poetry. ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! I agreee with Allan I too like the repetitions This is a good write Can't wait to see more of your work keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome to Passions! This is an excellent poem. It's full of emotion, and the flow is very nice. You're going to be a nice addition to Teen #4. I hope to read more soon. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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dreamer1 12 5 24 Member
since 2000-12-11
Posts 150crossing between |
I feel like an echo, but I have to say it anyway... WELCOME TO PASSIONS! and... Very well done on your post! It was very realistic, very well written. I can relate to that feeling. I hope you post again here so I can read more of your work. Thanks. dreamer ....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice any principle for the sake of it.... |
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