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Teen Poetry #4
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Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-04-03 04:42 PM


Stargazer, Stargazer,
Come gaze the stars with me,
Starwatcher, Starwatcher,
Tell me, tell me, what do you see?

Starsearcher, Starsearcher,
What does that one mean?
Starseeker, Starseeker,
Don’t you wish they could always be seen?

Starhunter, Starhunter,
Hunt down a star for me,
Starholder, Starholder,
Can I hold your star? Please oh please, let me see.

Stargazer, Stargazer,
Come gaze the stars with me,
Starwatcher, Starwatcher,
Tell me, tell me, what do you see?

Starfighter, Starfighter,
Why do you fight the stars, why?
Starhealer, Starhealer,
You can’t heal the stars? But...I...

Starfinder, Starfinder,
Where did all the stars go, why can’t I see?
Stargoddess, Stargoddess,
Will you bring the stars back to me?

It can't be!
He exists..
Master of the Oceans!
It's..
Leviathan...

© Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
1 posted 2001-04-03 04:53 PM


Wow... this post is great I really liked it loads, The whole theme was excellent and the  use of repetition of Star- was cool.
Andrew.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-04-03 06:17 PM


     Hmm...doens't seem like a Final Fantasy! I have no idea.  

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
3 posted 2001-04-03 07:31 PM


o_O actually this one has nothing to do with FF. not all of mine are game-based
Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-04-03 09:47 PM


Okay, what is FF??
Good job, Kosetsu... I like the structure here.  Nicely done..

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

LoveBug
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5 posted 2001-04-03 10:12 PM


I really like this piece. I also like the repetition you use, it really makes the longing seem more profound. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-04-03 11:16 PM


I didn't like it much. I felt like the flow of it was all over the place. I liked the topic though and felt that it was quite original.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
7 posted 2001-04-04 07:12 AM


FF= Final Fantasy. its a series of videogames
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
8 posted 2001-04-04 07:55 AM


The repitition helped the poem a lot and i liked the recurring theme.  I agree with dopey about the flow being a little scattered, but a good poem anyway.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-04-25 11:20 PM


This was a really good read.  Finally, a poem that's not about a game.  So, that's why id did make sense this time  
thanks for sharing
keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
10 posted 2001-04-25 11:36 PM


super cool and super rad i liked it thanx for the share
ben redshaw the great

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

11 posted 2001-04-26 01:07 AM


great job!!
and a very nicely written poem
keep writin

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-26-2001).]

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