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Teen Poetry #4
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Stargazer, Stargazer
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Stargazer, Stargazer |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Come gaze the stars with me, Starwatcher, Starwatcher, Tell me, tell me, what do you see? Starsearcher, Starsearcher, What does that one mean? Starseeker, Starseeker, Don’t you wish they could always be seen? Starhunter, Starhunter, Hunt down a star for me, Starholder, Starholder, Can I hold your star? Please oh please, let me see. Stargazer, Stargazer, Come gaze the stars with me, Starwatcher, Starwatcher, Tell me, tell me, what do you see? Starfighter, Starfighter, Why do you fight the stars, why? Starhealer, Starhealer, You can’t heal the stars? But...I... Starfinder, Starfinder, Where did all the stars go, why can’t I see? Stargoddess, Stargoddess, Will you bring the stars back to me? It can't be! |
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| © Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow... this post is great I really liked it loads, The whole theme was excellent and the use of repetition of Star- was cool. Andrew. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Hmm...doens't seem like a Final Fantasy! I have no idea. No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
o_O actually this one has nothing to do with FF. not all of mine are game-based |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Okay, what is FF?? Good job, Kosetsu... I like the structure here. Nicely done.. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I really like this piece. I also like the repetition you use, it really makes the longing seem more profound. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I didn't like it much. I felt like the flow of it was all over the place. I liked the topic though and felt that it was quite original.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
FF= Final Fantasy. its a series of videogames |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The repitition helped the poem a lot and i liked the recurring theme. I agree with dopey about the flow being a little scattered, but a good poem anyway. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This was a really good read. Finally, a poem that's not about a game. So, that's why id did make sense this time  thanks for sharing keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
super cool and super rad i liked it thanx for the share ben redshaw the great i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job!! and a very nicely written poem keep writin   ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-26-2001).] |
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