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Teen Poetry #4
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Poem
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Poem |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
The paper calls To tell a story Of rises and falls Gruesome and gory Subtle truths must be placed Within the fabric of the tale The fiction must be laced So the words do not become stale Give the illusions Of a perfect life To make the delusions Inseparable even by the sharpest knife Illustrate such things As gods hands Or the pain evil brings Even in foreign lands It can not be stopped Until the pen cries tears For it knows these words can not be topped Even in a lifetime of years >¶Øʆ< |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
thats really good.. i love it! make sure to read my entries i put in today!  |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I liked it a lot POA. nice work regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Great job, POA. I haven't seen you around Teen #4 much lately. I hope you keep posting because I always enjoy reading your work. Another job nicely done here. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is awesome! ~katie |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Yet another superb poem for my library. I love reading your work. Its so good. Keep up the good work and I hope to see many more poems by you. -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This is a great piece for my libary thanks for sharing. Andrew. " War is peace, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great poem! Two things though.... - the flow broke off a bit due to some lines having a small amount of syllables and others have much more. - the G in God is capitolized I'm not sure if you don't believe in God. If you don't, maybe that's why you didnt. Just informing.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
I like this poem alot, you had a a lot of interesting lines, keep up the good work, and i also agree with DOPEY!! SMILE!! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
yes, anything that points out to God should be capitalized as Dopey has so dilligently mentioned already  What can I say about your work POA I'm speechless keep sharing and thanks for the read "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I'm sure that's really just a religious preference of you fellows, I don't see why anyone outside of such a belief system would have to capitalize "god" simply for the assumption that he's even speaking of the god you are both speaking of. "God" is just a word, it need not be capitalized in certain contexts. Another marvelous piece, Poet.  ~Allan |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Allan, let me put it to you plain and simple.......What *I* said was this: IF he believes in God then it should be capitalized.... IF he doesn't then fine....I understand.... I was trying to understand WHY is wasn't capitalized. Ok yea I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
cap or not i don't really care anyways nice job on the poem and if though you use it cap is better..but you ask me that i said i didn't care? well.. i guess i do! keep writing |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Great poem POA, i was glad to see you posting something again. i hope to read lots more in the future, so keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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