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ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

0 posted 2001-03-30 04:49 PM

kt this sorta goes w/what we were talkin bout today in spanish o wel if it sux i dont care

Salt tears
Letting go
Releasing fears
I’ll never know
How do you cry
Do you just let break free
I wish I could die
I know you don’t agree
But you don’t like to see me
In such pain
It’s never that easy
You try to explain
But I’ll never know
How to release my fears
Or how to let go
Of these painful salt tears

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

1 posted 2001-03-30 04:53 PM

Wonderful rhyme scheme! I loved the way this poem flowed, really excellent work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

2 posted 2001-03-30 05:04 PM

gracias!

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

3 posted 2001-03-30 07:41 PM

Uhoh Jo you got some splanin' to do! TWICE!
*uhoh!!* good job

Bel

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

4 posted 2001-03-31 05:28 AM

T'was okay, but I thought the flow was injured in a few spots, where you increased your syllable count. Try to keep the syll count low on each line to keep the flow in tact.

~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-31 02:51 PM

This was pretty good. Not your best, but still enjoyable. I liked the last few lines. GOod job.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-04-01 06:44 PM

I really liked this.
Thought you did so well on it.
Great job!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

7 posted 2001-04-02 08:45 PM

thanks for replying ppls

~jo~

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-04-09 05:02 PM

good one EL
probably not my fav of yours
but i still liked it
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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