by myself in the greasest thing in life -love-

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Teen Poetry #4

by myself in the greasest thing in life -love-

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

0 posted 2001-03-29 03:26 AM

sorry
need some revise

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-03-29 03:29 AM

Fix the title.

Good job on this one, Anonymous Al! I think you accentuated the emotions wonderfully. I liked the title, but there's a typo in it that could be misinterpereted.
I did enjoy the read though!
~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-03-29 08:08 AM

Anonymous, this was a good effort.
A great expression of emotions and a very clear picture was painted.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light.
~ Joaquin Miller ~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-04-01 12:38 PM

You shouldn't pull off the poem to revise it and then add it back when it's ready. You shoulda just left it.....now I have nothing to read

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