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Teen Poetry #4
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Critic.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Critic. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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Critic. Poetry being pulled apart, And put under the microscope, Tearing words from my heart, And leaving me without hope, You analyse too deeply, The words In which I ryhme, I see the way you look at me, As though I’ve commited a crime, You are my only critic, And you will not accept my piece, You reviews are so acidic, And you blasting does not cease, I’m not out there to please you, I’m not trying to get you back, It’s not orientated towards you, But still I take your flak, I’m looking for reassurance, And want to hear your mind, I’m begging for insurance, Because I think that you are blind, I’m writing to help me, To explain just how I feel, But you just cannot see, That these feelings are quite real. I'm kinda inspired by the Sterophonics new single " Mr Writer", but mainly the inspiration comes from the My Vitriol album- Finelines and the track is Critic Orientated Rock... well recommended... it is however more than just a piece following the trend it is a bit of a dig at my Ex... so please don't think that i'm offended by critism, infact I believe anything that makes me a better poet is something that I should follow. Anyway If I haven't said this before I probably should have which is thankyou for all the great replies, It really is a pleasure to read your responses. Zu. " No army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Some people don't know the difference from a constructive critique and one that is way too harsh. It can really hurt to have your feelings torn apart that way, and you describe it well. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I try to be gentle with my criticism... and I try to be equally productive. Sometimes it is tough to be both. If you'd prefer that, in the appropriate situations, I go with gentle over productive, I'll understand. Good poem here. That's all I'll say about it, for fear of retaliation.  j/k~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Really good poem! I don't pick things apart, even if it has technical "errors" I think poetry's about expression freely, not structure. Thanks for posting this! "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Your poem expresses these thoughts very well, I like how it's written. Keep sharing them  "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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WaitN4AnAngel Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 37I wish I knew where I was... |
Good job. I wont get too constructive, since I can tell you dont really want it. Keep posting! *Me* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Your vitriol album? Huh? Anyway I thought this was great! You've expressed yourself perfectly in this poem. It really captured my attention. I liked it a lot!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I hope you're not talking about me. Points at Dopes  lolYou must be talking about the person you write about That's my guess Don't let anyone put you or your writing down "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I don't know how I missed this poem.. the title even caught my eye this time. Great poem, Marshal. This is another job very well done. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanxs for all the great replies, I was actually a little nervous to put this on as i was nervous that I might put people off from posting. Anyway thanx for the replies. Andrew. " War is peace, |
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