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Teen Poetry #4
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Crystal Catacombs - Politics Song (entry 8)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Crystal Catacombs - Politics Song (entry 8) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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Treading away, with a league in my tracks Shielding my eyes to the spray of the sand Carving a glyph in the skin on their backs Carving a glyph on the palm of my hand Climbing the steps to the parliment house Clutching my book of commands at my side Leeching the brains of the world as a louse Leeching their faiths, leaving nowhere to hide Preaching away as the masses arrive Pressing my word to the backs of their throats Leaving the chores to the lost, loyal hive Leaving the chores to the sheep and the goats Letting the blood from the back of my head Baptising children, to purify lives Kept to the future, and prettied in red Kept to the future, protected by knives Hiding my claws, for my fear of the truth Watching the masses collide and collect Pulling a lever of choice, in a booth Pulling a lever of choice, to elect Treading away, with a league in my tracks Shielding my eyes to the spray of the sand Carving a glyph in the skin on their backs Carving a glyph on the palm of my hand |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Mr Riverwood, My mind still isn't absorbing alot but I am pretty sure I caught most of the meaning. The imagery was brilliant and the entire flow was wonderful. Although the imagery was amazing, I didn't particulary like the piece that much. The 4th stanza really made me take a step back and go 'wow'. It was probably the mention of knives.  jkAnother addition to a great series. I can't wait for the rest of them.  ~AF~ Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Allan, I liked this one. Imagery was great. 2nd stanza was awesome. Another great job. Jon |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: Quite a good poem. I liked the imagery and thought it was quite satirical at times. Very good poem. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Allan, As its been said already, the imagery is amazing. I really enjoyed this read. The politics.....not my thing. Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Politics, neat. Good job on this, I think I get what it's saying and I like your word choices in this one. "Preaching away as the masses arrive Pressing my word to the backs of their throats Leaving the chores to the lost, loyal hive Leaving the chores to the sheep and the goats" "Hiding my claws, for my fear of the truth Watching the masses collide and collect" "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
People people PEOPLE! Would you check out the format on this beast!?!? I mean, all these songs are pure GENIUS! OK maybe I'm just humoring you, but, yeah, it's still pretty neat-o.  ..Wow. I just read it over again...very neat-o, in fact...~Carly OOooOOOooOOOOohhhh ain't that the prettiest boy you ever did seee??  Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be the strangest things, the slightly sane, that only I can see... [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 03-30-2001).] |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I thought it was an excellent poem with wonderful imagery. I think it might be made better without the repitition of the first stanza at the end, but overall this is excellent work. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
is that a picture I see??? YEAAAAAA~! I FINALLY know what my partner in evil looks like lol that was a suprise..i didnt know you had a picture on here. NOW~to the poem...awesome job. although, me being a blonde, im kind of lost as to why all your poems are Crystal Catacombs...please enlighten me. It sounds really pretty but its sooo over my head lol i know i know..im really intelligent, just not with catacombs. we dont learn that in kindergarten here but neways...gotta return to my work...(ruling the world that is haha) great job babe  *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ [This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 03-30-2001).] |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
 ohhhhhhh......a picture!!! "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
How did I miss this one??? Excellent use of imagery... Simply beautiful! Your poems always amaze me! Awesome job. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I'm having trouble understanding the relation between all of your Crystal Catacombs entries......my fav is the rain one.....I didn't like this one all that much. It was ok.....the format was fine and the way you wrote the song was great but it didn't hit me..... Explain the relation between all of the entries.....  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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