Teen Poetry #4 |
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Catharsis |
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UnPumpkin Junior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 18 |
Walking on air I ascended, rolling over and taking on The watery placenta-new of a shining orb. And all the dreams of all the babes who die before their time cried out to be given strength and merit. My feelings descended to a comfortable sin-black as i blocked them out, knowing only the here and now and the realization of the power to save, And the conscious choice to ignore. And i looked up to the sky, and cried aloud. I SCREAMED out the name i had known from birth Bursting forth like a painful secret And i felt myself slip away into The cranberry red and blood-deep burgundy wine Of forgetting. I BURNED and tore at the shards of all i had known All that i had allowed to perfume, to become, to fill and pervade and consume the me that i had been. I tore away the superimposition of that which dragged me away To where i was smoothed and soft-spoken and warm... And it BURNED and flowed and peeled around, The lava of my veins and the fire which became the eyes with which i saw all and knew more, I tore away and became what i feared most. Raw, vulnerable, emptied. Alone. (most of my poems are dedicated to a friend or enemy. This one's for matt.) |
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© Copyright 2001 UnPumpkin - All Rights Reserved | |||
emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
i told you i liked this one i just hope matt can read it someday "Cogito ergo sum"-I think, therefore I exist |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This was pretty good. I think you should have put the all-caps words in bold instead. Just check out "html help" at the bottom of the screen. But other than that, you did a nice job. ![]() ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here. I liked the way you wrote it, but I've seen better from you. Anyhow, hope to see more soon! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is good.. not your best, but not your worst. Nice job. --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I dunno bout everyone else, but I think this was pretty dang amazin.. Leave em in caps, I like em dat way. Very nice work, UnPumpkin. Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I thought that this was great poem, definetely something to be proud of. Keep up the good work. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
That was amazing, and I'm well more than impressed with your way with words. keep sharing my friend. Let's not waste that talent ![]() "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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