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UnPumpkin
Junior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 18

0 posted 2001-03-25 11:48 PM

I wake alone and feel your arms around me,
Or so it seems; a whisper of your voice lingers
Like a wisp of smoke around my head.
You are and aura of scent--
The spices of the east are in your peppered veins.

You are taut and lofty, wise as Chinese proverbs
And you taste fresh green, like a forest after rain
As tender and fragile as rice paper
Deep and delicious.
You hold every mystery of the Orient.

Tangible and yet so far away.

(For you; you know who you might be)

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-03-26 12:03 PM

Ooh... I'm going to applaud this piece eagerly. The theme you used in it was BRILLIANT. Very original... and you did a great job.
Excellent metaphors and similies, and you didn't even need a rhyme scheme.
It's free verse like this that makes me jealous.

Did you know you are the first person who's starting post has gone into my private library? Congratulations on this.
Welcome to Passions in Poetry. I certainly do hope that you post quite frequently, and enjoy your time here.

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

2 posted 2001-03-26 06:31 AM

Welcome welcome welcome. I'm already amazed...now I'm forced to patiently await your next post. I'm really bad at this patience thing, so don't make me go thru TOO much waitin, aiight? YAY! Eneh weh...ciao!
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

3 posted 2001-03-26 06:36 AM

Welcome to passions! Hope you enjoy your stay. I also hope to see more of your work.
~Tamma

i dont know if i should cry because its over, or smile because it happened

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-03-26 09:23 AM

Welcome to Passions, UnPumpkin.

Your starting post is quite creative with a wonderful subject idea. It is not often that you see starting posts of extremely high quality like this. You have pulled it off magnificently.

Bravo for a marvellous piece of writing.

~AF~

Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light.
~ Joaquin Miller ~

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

5 posted 2001-03-26 02:21 PM

Welcome to Passions! We are glad to have you here! Awesome first post! I like it much!

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.

Life is what happens when you're making ot

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

6 posted 2001-03-26 03:50 PM

Welcome to Passions!
This is a wonderful piece. I love the descriptions you give us, they are beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

PS-check your e-mail

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-03-26 05:10 PM

I really like your alias......hehe
Anyhow I thought you did quite well on this poem. Very different from what I'm used to reading here. Welcome to Passions and I hope you enjoy it here as much as we all do!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-03-26 05:46 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS

I like this poem a lot. It seems like you're going to be a good addition to the Passions family. Great job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

9 posted 2001-03-26 06:06 PM

Welcome, great job on this, and I hope to see you around more

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
"Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it."
BothUnknown

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

10 posted 2001-03-26 06:35 PM

Welcome and nice job on your poem. It was a great read.
I found your little note at the bottom interesting too
"""
(For you; you know who you might be)
"""
'you know who you might be' hmmm, actually some very powerful words when I do what I usually do and dig way to deep.
anyways
nice one,
Jason

[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 03-26-2001).]

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2001-03-31 05:49 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

Nice to see you've decided to join our family here in Passions for Poetry. Hope you enjoy your stay. have fun sharing and happy reading too

You poem has impressed me already

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

12 posted 2003-01-10 11:21 AM

Glad I came back to read this one.

Let me just say I really like this, the way you put it together, your choice of description... right from the start, caught me, drew me in, didn't disappoint me in the least.

Very, very nice work.

Parasite

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