Teen Poetry #4 |
Tatyana |
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
“Why did you visit us, but why? Lost in the backwoods habitation I’d not have known you, therefore I Would have been spared this laceration.” Tatyana’s letter to Onegin Tatyana Warm candle wax dries on the marble, smooth surface of the frigid floor. Spilled ink and paper,-- how I marvel at adolescent love... I’m startled! Oh, young Tatyana, I implore,-- don’t let the zealous flames grow faint, but with a movement of a hand, set free the thoughts you have detained and leave your love to his command. Your see-through gown makes you seem as though a pallid apparition,-- perfection’s glimpse, a wondrous vision,-- I, too, have seen you in a dream. Your perfume makes the heart go wild. Your footsteps wake the sleeping soul. Believe me! on my knees I’d crawl to see your eyes, so deep and mild. I watch you, on the floor, supine, and recollect my own Tatyana,-- I dream of love, of pride and honor... Tatyana, write another line! ------------------ Check out more of my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful job on this one!!!! I thought you wrote this quite well. Your style is unique and loved around here. Keep posting cuz I love all your poems! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow, this is great! Your poems just keep getting better and better... Don't stop posting! Nicely done --Marie |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh wow, Master. This one is most definitely the most remarkable piece I have read from you yet. Your expression is wonderful and the imagery has me in even more awe of you than I already was. I have only one problem with you though. REPLY! Your work is of such a fine quality that it deserves more than just a few replies. Please respond here more often. It would be an honour to so many people to have such a terrific writer such as yourself, reply and comment on others pieces. I'm ranting now but great writing, Master. As per usual. ~AF~ Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Dear AF, believe me, I read quite a lot of poetry here... The reason that I don't respond that often is that I'm not easily impressed. I do comment on the works that I think show promise.. and I do think that there's a lot of talent here, but I also think that you guys give each other too much undeserved praise... It's hard to learn how to write better when everybody always tells you that you're awesome... I'll try to critique more poetry in the future. Thanks for reading my work though. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ah Master, you are not alone in being the sort of person who reads an enormous amount of poetry in here. As you are the kind of poet (along with a couple of other people in here) who know what they are doing when they write. I'll agree with your comment on "It's hard to learn how to write better when everybody always tells you that you're awesome" though. The critiques will be appreciated. I look forward to the next piece. ~AF~ Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light. |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Well I'm sorry I don't have anything constructive to say, but still, I love your work, and who's to say what makes work better or not. In all the diversity we have today. Furthermore: Poe. E. A. Poe didn't have anyone telling him how to make his work better, he drank, and he loved animals, and had a thing for the number 4, he was still a fantastic poet. Maybe people don't like it, but I happen to think he's one of the best. Thanks, Elvenblood "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Master, Master, Master I don't even know what to say anymore about your work I do think you already know what I mean "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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