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Teen Poetry #4
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Bathing.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Bathing. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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Bathing. I’ve been bathing for days, And the stench still hangs here, I’ve tried all of the ways, But It won’t disappear, I’m feeling unclean, It hangs over me, I’m trying to preen, Her smell out of me, She infected my every possession, My clothes and my hair, It’s become an obsession, But I do not care, I’m feeling so dirty, I’m feeling so cheap, I’m not feeling pretty, I can’t get to sleep, Bathing in acid, To burn away my skin, I’m feeling placid , But shes under my skin, Can’t run away, The smell just follows on, Why does it stay?, Why isn’t it gone?. Why isn't it gone indeed? I saw my ex-girlfriend on Saturday night after a heavy night of drinking, I was drunk and well when I saw a guy draped all over her I realised that maybe I hadn't gotton over her completely and that I was more than a bit jealous, infact it was the first time that I had seen her since we broke up, bit of a shock to the old system I think... anyway I went home and everything I touched reminded me off her but I hated her because what she had done to me and I loved her because of they way she made me feel. It's at times like this when I write poetry, when my emotions become so overpowering that they manifest themselves as a colours on my canvas, obviously the colours are words so but it's the same thing. Anyway thanks for listening. Zu. " War is peace, |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Ah, the bittersweet realization that it pays to remove the knife, least it be subjected to twisting... Moving on, the chronic requiem of youth...a pity, but there is no other thing more worthy of pity than reality. Wow, that probally didn't help, did it? (Cough) Ok,well in keeping with the indelible system of standardly accepted morals...um, ALCOHOL IS BAD...anyway, hipocrisy aside, your deployment of freeverse articulately expresses your emotions...a step further perhaps, in that quest of perfection of yours? Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Geesh, I've been there dude. It hurts.....right in the heart and guts......it hurts so bad. I hope you get through it good. GOod poem man.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yeah, bathing is nice. Do you have a rubber ducky? *squeak squeak*  I thought the poem was okay, but you used too many repititions of words as substitutes for rhymes. I didn't like that. Although the thought was nice. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Haha, Allan, cute  Good job on this, Marshal. I liked it a lot. Nicely done. --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I do understand where you're coming from Hope you do really move on though There's others right there who'd treat with a lot of love  "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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