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Teen Poetry #4
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Oh Romeo...romeo...
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Oh Romeo...romeo... |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I once saw a young girl, With her Romeo by her side. Painted smiles surround them, Savages awaiting their demise. She turned to her Romeo, And then began to weep. His eyes full of saddness, Is what she saw but did not seek. She kissed him ever so lightly, On top of his smooth hand. A kiss of loving tender, Showing she understands. Her weeping turned to sobbing, Her sobbing turned to cries. All cause of what she saw, In her darling Romeo's eyes. The people surrounding them, Painted smiles and All. Watched as the girl covered her face, Then slowly to her knees she did fall. No one offered to help her, Not a single hand to wipe her tears dry. She called out for her Romeo, And his sad green eyes. He looked down at his love, her hand he did not attempt to grasp. Did not make a sound, Reasons for her sadness did not need to be asked. Such a young girl, So many tears from her eyes. Its cause of her love, That she feels the pain inside. The crowd satisfied, From the downfall of perfection. Left one by one, With more cruel intentions. The girl very weak, Stood up and looked again into her Romeo's eyes. And the small reflection she saw back at her, Was me to my suprise. [This message has been edited by xShUgArHiGhx (edited 03-23-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
First of all, WELCOME BACK, Sugarhigh! I haven't seen you in AGES!  Okay, this poem was simply awesome. You did it all so well... the style, the creative wordings... all an EXCELLENT job. The last line was a change from third-person to first-person. This was unusual.... the first time I read it I didn't like it, but when I read it again it seemed important. So keep it.  See you around! ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Nice story there. Tell me, were you one of the people? It seems like a good point of view from the outside. Keep up the good work. Peace out "The heart can think of no devotion |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
I love this. It is so good. You did a wonderful job. I'm glad to see that you are back! ~*Malinda*~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here Shugar.......welcome back! I enjoyed this poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Yayyyeee its SHUGAR!  I should sooo not be so hyper at this time o' day. Oh wells. YEH! Me really liked the pome!!! Like...lots and lots and lots.......Well nice to see ya 'gin.~Carly "The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake." |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"I once saw a young girl, With her Romeo by her side. Painted smiles surround them, Savages awaiting their demise" This is beautiful! I love it. Nicely written --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thank you everyone for reading this! yea i was gone quite a while...i dunno what happened, my life just kinda went outta control but thanks for the welcome back!! I feel so loved lol I really love this one and no i wasnt one of the poeple looking in from the outside...those are the people that all know me and judge me and my bf and everything...Thanks for reading it everyone!!! |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Awww, that's so sad and sweet! I love it, thanks for posting it. "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
SHUGAR, this poem was awesome. It's been a long timesince I have seen your name around, but this was a good way to come back. The ending was extremely cool. Glad you're back Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Good to see you again! Well, this is a wonderful piece. The imagery totally pulled me in, and the story is sad and yet beautiful at the same time. Wonderful work. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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luvnkris Member
since 2000-08-31
Posts 144Perth, Australia |
this poem is totally awesome! its going in my library thingy! Luv Jo xoxo * never live a second without being grateful for all you have around you* |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
Hey shuga Sorry I was late gettin to this but it was EXCELLENT! I missed your work..its almost the only poems I can relate to. pretty pathetic lol...but geat job here and you better keep posting..or else <3 ya grlie~*Kiley ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nice poem i liked it!! guess u haven't been around 4 awhile well.. i'm kinda new so but i'll be lookin forward 4 more of ur poems |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Hey guys!! Thanks for all your your replies =o) They mean a lot to me. Its nice to be back and i personally love this poem so im glad that all of you like it too! Thanks for replying! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
BRAVO!!! ~*stands up and applauds*~ BRAVO!!! "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
this was really good...i enjoyed reading it. i loved it!!! keep writing! ~jo~ |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i hope u dont mind this in my libary. this was more than amazing. regina (speechless) a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
Wow! This was amazing girl!! It's going straight to my library... keep it up! *The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.* |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
WoW! This was absoloutly amazing, I never felt so compelled to keep on reading. Thanks for sharing this great peice of work. Andrew. " War is peace, |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thank you everyone for your replies!! I absolutely love this poem and im so glad that so many of you feel the same about it!! Thanks for reading and im glad i could share this with u!! Thanks again =o) |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
That was great!! Very powerful. Going into the library, good job hasta luego  Bel |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
That was awesome. ~Susie Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at walls all day. Others are calle |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanx for your replies guys!! Im glad you liked it!! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You do deserve all the praises you get on this piece "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
hehehe thanks acire!!!! |
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