Teen Poetry #4 |
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Everlasting Moment |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA ![]() |
My mind starts to race Thoughts I can’t place I find myself a million Light-years in space I didn’t have to be bold You made me behold And I saw right then You turned my life to gold Electricity shoots in my brain There could never be any pain Because right now It’s here I want to remain Not wanting to say goodbye The thought makes me want to sigh I wonder what right now I would see in your eye To anything else, you eclipse And with my hands on your hips Then, one second from line one I no longer feel on mine, your lips "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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© Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I love the first staza a lot, it really made me crave the rest of the poem. Good job on this one! "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Very well done. Who's it about? ![]() ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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LoveBug![]()
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Beautiful descriptive piece here. I find myself asking the same question Allan is asking... ![]() Thanks for sharing. "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Tamma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Wonderful poem - Lucky girl ~Tamma i dont know if i should cry because its over, or smile because it happened |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
It's about my gf (duh) Danielle, I posted a poem with her name as the title! lol Allan's just being Allan, and he needs to pay for it ;-) "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done. I thought you did well. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
well done Elvenblood. Nice expressions of your feelings ![]() "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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