Teen Poetry #4 |
Everlasting Moment |
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
My mind starts to race Thoughts I can’t place I find myself a million Light-years in space I didn’t have to be bold You made me behold And I saw right then You turned my life to gold Electricity shoots in my brain There could never be any pain Because right now It’s here I want to remain Not wanting to say goodbye The thought makes me want to sigh I wonder what right now I would see in your eye To anything else, you eclipse And with my hands on your hips Then, one second from line one I no longer feel on mine, your lips "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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© Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I love the first staza a lot, it really made me crave the rest of the poem. Good job on this one! "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Very well done. Who's it about? ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Beautiful descriptive piece here. I find myself asking the same question Allan is asking... Thanks for sharing. "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Wonderful poem - Lucky girl ~Tamma i dont know if i should cry because its over, or smile because it happened |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
It's about my gf (duh) Danielle, I posted a poem with her name as the title! lol Allan's just being Allan, and he needs to pay for it ;-) "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done. I thought you did well. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
well done Elvenblood. Nice expressions of your feelings thanks for the read and keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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