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Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-03-24 09:24 AM

My mind starts to race
Thoughts I can’t place
I find myself a million
Light-years in space

I didn’t have to be bold
You made me behold
And I saw right then
You turned my life to gold

Electricity shoots in my brain
There could never be any pain
Because right now
It’s here I want to remain

Not wanting to say goodbye
The thought makes me want to sigh
I wonder what right now
I would see in your eye

To anything else, you eclipse
And with my hands on your hips
Then, one second from line one
I no longer feel on mine, your lips

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

1 posted 2001-03-24 11:35 AM

I love the first staza a lot, it really made me crave the rest of the poem. Good job on this one!

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
"Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it."
BothUnknown

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-03-24 01:45 PM

Very well done. Who's it about?

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-03-24 05:23 PM

Beautiful descriptive piece here. I find myself asking the same question Allan is asking...

Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

4 posted 2001-03-24 05:39 PM

Wonderful poem - Lucky girl

~Tamma

i dont know if i should cry because its over, or smile because it happened

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

5 posted 2001-03-24 06:25 PM

It's about my gf (duh) Danielle, I posted a poem with her name as the title! lol
Allan's just being Allan, and he needs to pay for it ;-)

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-03-25 02:54 PM

Nicely done. I thought you did well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-04-01 06:30 PM

well done Elvenblood. Nice expressions of your feelings

thanks for the read and keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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