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Teen Poetry #4
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Your Star
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Your Star |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia 
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Your Star Feelings of distress Echo back at me from afar I wonder how things work Upon your distant star I strove to break What took so long to build A bridge to your star With a keystone filled Canst thou not blame Or hurt thyself more I flew to your star Only to find a locked door Once so willing for a bridge Now you have declined An inquiry into your star I feel so inclined Who is responsible Is anyone really For what has happened to your star Poor poor lovely lady I can cry you a river So I can sail upon it Adrift to your star Where lovers sit I can blend passion with power And bring you down to earth Pulled from your safe star To attempt another birth I can paste all of the pages I have inscribed to your being Lay them edge to edge towards your star To catch you whilst reading I will sing you songs Music as beautiful as a dove Rapunzel's rope from your star Not of hair, but of love You're too far gone I thought I loved you Couldn't reach your star Nothing left to do But watch from afar At your sadness Upon your lonely star. ------------------------------------------ "The heart can think of no devotion |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Ohh, that was great! The last stanza was particularly poignant! Good one "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Oh, wow! This one's going into my library. VERY nice job, fozzy! --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wow, you RULE. All of your poetry up to this point has been fascinating. The theme of this one was very good... and the hint of Elizabethan was a nice effect. Look out, Teen #4... the Ozzman cometh.  Haha.... okay that was lame.  ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Yea Allan, that was lame. "I can cry you a river So I can sail upon it Adrift to your star Where lovers sit" Ozz, that stanza was amazing. I loved it. You are such a talented writer!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
very impressive write my friend. you seem to get all the other eaders excited with your poems keep it up"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This is really excellent work! You use your words so well and the iamges are really beautiful. Keep posting, i really enjoy reading your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I really like this piece. I especally love the last stanza. It's so hard to admire the person you want to reach from afar. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Very nice poem...it was beautifully written |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
One word, WOW! "It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" ~Unknown |
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