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princess^sarah
Member

since 2001-01-12

Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-03-23 02:44 AM

his legs are painted black and blue
his eye is swollen,bottom lip is huge.

his face looks beaten and his ribcage is bruised
his fingers are fin and nails ice blue.
yet he runs he jumps he sings and he plays
with others of his own age

but when its time to leave
his smile fades
and deep in his heart you can see,
see the fear and pain
for now he goes home
and suffers the pain of a crime unknown

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 04-03-2001).]

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

1 posted 2001-03-23 08:29 AM

Wow....that's heavy....holy _____ (insert YOUR version of the expression, I know mine!)
that's just....wow. I don't know what to say. Good expression in the poem though, good poem all around. Intot he library.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-03-23 10:32 AM

Whoa... this is some heavy stuff. It's a great poem, but it's sad. I hope things are ok for you? Good poem, though..

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-03-23 11:46 AM

Very descriptive! I love the technique you used in this poem.
You have definitely been improving. This is your best so far, hon.

See you around.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

4 posted 2001-03-23 11:49 AM

This was a strongly worded poem. I think it's written well, nice job

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
"Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it."
BothUnknown

Greeneyes617
Member

since 2000-11-22

Posts 329
Arkansas

5 posted 2001-03-23 02:05 PM

Wow...This was very good. I can picture the kids face when he has to go home.

It reminds me of my best freind. Thanks for posting this.

~*Malinda*~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-03-23 02:23 PM

Oh geesh that's horrible!!!! I really don't have anything else to say. That's just a horrible thing he did.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

7 posted 2001-03-23 04:16 PM

Sick. (Great poem...)
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

8 posted 2001-03-23 06:27 PM

The poem was good...

I don't know what else to say. It makes me very angry to read things like this. right when start I thinking the world is an alright place I read something like this, usually in the newspaper. It's kind of a depressing/scary time we live in.
Your title is interesting too, btw... UNKNOWN? in what way?
Jason

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