Untitled, Unfinished, and most of all Unknown

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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-20 09:55 PM

Untitled, Unfinished, and most of all Unknown

In my dreams, you always die before me
And I cry all of the time
I wake up
To soak my room in eye-offending brine
I always thought of her kind
At the front of my mind
A flow of consciousness embrace
Appearing with endless grace
It...you come to kiss me
Alas out of time
I wake up
Time's rounded face doth lie
I don't know what it is
About my
Childish girl who sought after my love
A river of sweetness runs deep through my heart
Not her a delta but an ocean
Can keep us apart.

Precious seconds tacked on
Like blades of grass upon a lawn
Every night of rememberance
Brings her to my sub-conscious
Beloved dream woman in another realm
Let our minds caress and love
Soon be together you the tiger
And me the dove...

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-03-20 11:04 PM

Very good. The last two lines especially.
Another well written piece.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-03-21 12:07 PM

Another great poem from you. I don't think this one is the best I've read from you, but I still like it. Nicely done.

-Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-03-21 02:04 PM

Ooooooooooo very nice one! Especially the ending. Wowish, nicely done!!!!!!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

4 posted 2001-03-21 06:10 PM

Wow~very impressive. i liked this alot, keep posting!

*kiley

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

5 posted 2001-03-21 08:42 PM

I really like this piece. It flows beautifully, and we can all relate to the content. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-03-29 06:19 PM

I see the wuality of poems in this forum is getting better and better. Very impressive my friend. Keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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