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Teen Poetry #4
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Rising above the scars
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Rising above the scars |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. 
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I've been gone for a while. How's everyone? This poem's just about jealously and anger. Just everything thrown into one. Wrote it last night...Somehow it just doesn't feel finished...like it needs more...ehh if anyone can, the rhyme scheme is easy, help me finish it off with a good ending... Rising Above the Scars - An emotion scar painfully taken in. It goes to show that I let you win. Get the best of me & throw me away. You sit and laugh as I rot and decay. The scars on the inside are hidden within. The ones on the outside are from letting you win. I must take control, I'm dying, you see! Can't let you decide what should happen to me. I'm getting better now but no thanks to you. By hurting myself, it was the right thing to do That emotion scar is fading away. And I become stronger Almost everyday... *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Raven Skye - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Sorry I couldn't think of any to add. I thought this was a good ending. I wouldn't change it.Great poem overall.Hope to hear more from you. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"An emotion scar painfully taken in. It goes to show that I let you win." This one really hits home. Great poem.. I like the style. Keep posting... --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
Great job here~im with Fading..really hits home. Keep posting  *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Ooh... nice job. Good flow, due to the short lines. And the rhyme helped a lot. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did well with this one. Very nice. The pain hurts, I know this pain all too well.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Im so glad to hear that you are getting better! I think somethings everyone lets certain things or people get the best of us..i know im a victim of that a lil too often but whats important is that you over come it and rise above just like you did! Great job hun! |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
"Clipped wing You didn't win I'm here to tell you About my thick skin" How's that? It really is hard to write for other people's poems, but I related to this one very well. Sometimes a little anger is a good thing. Good job "The heart can think of no devotion |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You did good on this one Though i feel like it lacks emotion why? I don't know It must be me thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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