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TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

0 posted 2001-03-20 02:42 PM

In my heart
a new wound bleeds,
there's so many wrongs,
so many needs,
my thoughts polluted
by your acid rain,
unmerciful words
left my dreams in pain.

But it doesn't hurt
as much as it did,
cause I told myself
you needed to rid
your thoughts of hate,
anger and pain
by drowning me
in your acid rain.

So let it rain
from your heart so dark,
let it rain
past the turn back mark,
cause I can take it,
I'll pay the cost,
if that will help
your soul so lost.

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

~sugarpie313~
Member

since 2000-09-14

Posts 375
Maine, USA

1 posted 2001-03-20 02:48 PM

i absolutely love this poem!! especially the last stanza. wow... *L* awesome job. i like it a lot.

Valerie

*Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes*

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

2 posted 2001-03-20 03:03 PM

Hey, I liked this one too! I'm not good at picking things apart though but it's still good :-)

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-03-20 04:47 PM

Nicely done! I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

4 posted 2001-03-20 06:47 PM

Everyone could not be more right. Great poem,last verse was the best. Really cool.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-20 07:52 PM

Last verse was very impressive.. I like this poem a lot. It's very well written. Nice job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-03-20 10:51 PM

Ooh... this flowed excellently and had a marvelous message.
Very great job. One of your better pieces.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-03-28 06:10 PM

OMG!!!
WOW!!!
that was really beautiful
I'm in awe right now
BRAVO!!!

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

8 posted 2001-07-03 04:23 PM

Acid rain.. hmm...
You know i have a friend who gets me in trouble all the time and i think hes in jail right now... and i tried helping him for such a long time now.. and it took it's toll on me.. thats something that must be considered... this poem touches me deep because i felt this way everytime i hung out with this guy..."It it will help"...
like.. "If i sacrifice a little of myself for you, it will not be in vain as long as it helps... RIGHT?"

Love is God. Love is war. Love is what your life is for.

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