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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-03-19 05:03 PM

Submarine.

I’m scraping along the bottom,
My batteries are run down,
At the surface I’ve forgotten,
If I’m down much more I’ll drown,
I would head back to the surface,
Back to reality,
But I’m living without purpose,
I’m a submarine at sea,

Zu.

Love is a friendship caught on fire.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-03-19 09:38 PM

I liked this......I like the analogy of you being a submarine......
This was pretty good!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-03-20 09:17 AM

You seriously never stop amazing me with these pieces, Zu. The submarine was, like the washing machine, very creative.
You have got a mighty fine talent and I cannot wait to read more of your work.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-03-20 09:31 AM

Awesome analogy... very creative. You are a very talented poet, Marshal. Great job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-03-20 09:31 AM

Ahh! Sorry about that... double post...

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 03-20-2001).]

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-20 09:31 AM

Ahh! Triple post! Goodnes... I guess you can tell I really liked this one

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 03-20-2001).]

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-03-20 09:54 PM

Haha... cute, Marie.

And good poem, Zu. Pretty neat analogy, but I thought it could have been taken a bit deeper. (no pun intended.

)
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-03-26 07:24 PM

pretty good Marshalzu
I don't think it's one of your best though
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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