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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2001-03-19 10:10 AM

The stormy nights shivering cold,
Sounds of youth and outlawed harvest,
Enter through dream oneself in,
Into my heavy restless mind,

Where a resound still hang
Of the short summer walk,
The nights deep breath,
Birdsong and wing blow

My thoughts rises of night
Against a land of abandon life,
Against a Braun desert field
Underneath fire red morning rain

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-03-19 10:20 AM

Very nice. But to me, the ending sounded a little off. I might have just readd it wrong but the ending kind of left me hanging. Other than that it is an excellent poem.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-19 12:11 PM

I thought this poem was good but the meaning of it wasn't clear to me. Can you explain it a bit?
Anyhow, the flow kinda broke off at the end.
Anyway I thought this was a nice read.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

3 posted 2001-03-19 05:11 PM

Wow, I loved that! Just the imagery is enough to make it go in my library, but the symbols are great too,

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-03-20 01:21 PM

I would like to hear an explanation of the meaning as well.
Anyways, this was a great read.
Nicely done

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-03-20 10:18 PM

Explain.
Good poem, by the way.
Now explain.
~Allan

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

6 posted 2001-03-20 10:32 PM

ohhhh October's the best month

Afterall..its the month I was born in ..but awesome poem. very descriptive~keep it up

Kiley

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-03-28 05:22 PM

I felt like you cut us off....
You did really well
I'd like to see probably 2 more stanzas though

thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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