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Teen Poetry #4
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My Eyes
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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My Eyes |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia 
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My Eyes The other day I realize With my dark eyes That I cannot see I envision what will be But that is an illusion Another love-dryed delusion My eyes hide me from sin My eyes tell me what to believe in I cry with my eyes They also say good-byes Wish I could burn people Mine eye's pointed steeple To erect a church With my eyes I search No color whatsoever My eyes black forever My eyes not portals Deep inside He chortles Pleased with His trick He created my eyes sick Why has He cursed Me With eyes designed to see The horrible world around me "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Nice poem. Especially like the ending. "Why has He cursed Me With eyes designed to see The horrible world around me" Very cool, and great descriptions. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
This is fantastic fozzyozzy. The imagery that you have created here in your piece was amazing. A particular part that stood out for me was: "No color whatsoever My eyes black forever My eyes not portals Deep inside He chortles Pleased with His trick He created my eyes sick" The dark theme in this did it for me. Wonderful and I hope to see many more. ~AF~ "It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here fozzy. I truly enjoyed this poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, This is a great poem one of the best of your I have read keep up the great work and until your next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I agree with Linc ^ when he said this one's one of your best I've read. Great job! And Bravo on the ending! *Applauds* --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Oohh... yeah... *drool* This is mag-ni-fi-cent. Wonderful. You rule, Ozzy. Simple as that.  ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
this is really good I do believe though that what you see is up to you And not up to Him It's you choice.... "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
that was good!!! and great poem keep writin [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 03-26-2001).] |
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