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Teen Poetry #4
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I heard you say those words
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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I heard you say those words |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
I heard you say those words, And felt my heart break in two, You said you were going away, But I said I still love you. I heard you say those words, And first didn't want to believe You said you were going away, And all I can do is grieve. I heard you say those words, Can't we work something out? You said you were going away, I don't even know your route. I heard you say those words, I just can't let you go, You said you were going away, I'll find a way, make our love flow. I heard you say those words, We'll be together again, You said you were going away, I'll love you after, and until then. I heard you say those words, But what do they mean? You said you were going away, Our hearts will be together again, Someday, pure and clean. ---------------------------------------------------- Dedicated to A. Clayson and B. Taylor. I know it'll work out for you two somehow. [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (edited 03-15-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Okay... this was outstanding. My favourite poem of yours thus far. And also one worthy of a seat in my personal library. The repititions you used were excellent, and the stanzas to surround them just marvelous. You rule.  I hope it all turns out okay.~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I always forget to hit the button.  If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
i really liked this one, kinda mellow feeling to it, and then sad, and then hopeful very nicly written:-) let the fighting words lie let the candle light die let the sun come up let the same imply ~EvE 6 |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this!! Very nicely written. Good luck to whoever it's about.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Awesome poem! This one's going into my library. VERY nicely done. Thank you for the great read. --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Good luck to you indeed, it seems to hurt a lot for you. Well, thanks for posting it! "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Well, thanks for the comments. And this isn't about anything happening to me. Two friends of mine that are in love with each other are being forced apart because one is moving away. They've chosen not to have a long-distance relationship, but I know it tears them both apart to have to separate like this. I wrote this to give them hope that they'd someday be back together. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
just one of those poems that makes you go aww...great job. sincere dedication, i liked the repetition of the lines,too. keep posting *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You've written so much emotion in this poem that no one would even think it's a dedication to a friend. You did a marvelous job "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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