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Teen Poetry #4
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Crystal Catacombs - Midnight Red (entry 5)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Crystal Catacombs - Midnight Red (entry 5) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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rumours whisper from the knife peeling through my skinless chest shameful droplets graze the wound craving slumber, solace, rest pluck the slayer from its tip let the gaping wound remain spill no tears, feel no remorse leave me here to hang in pain I was just another drip me dry my brother spores and seedlings spread like fire red and liquid, bringing life slivering, careening down dripping from the hero's knife drenching slow my silk attire racing to the depths of earth genes embedded in the blood boasting evil's pride and worth quivering, my open lips my life... drips armours of my battle die crucified upon a corpse numbness is my lullaby dead in vain, emotion warps numbness leads me into love with the body in the ground for the kindred spirit there kissing me without a sound i wish you were here... but never... they'd never let you anywhere near midnight red, the fluid swirls through the coffin, up her thighs slips into the nest of cold lines the walls inside and dries over time, the martyr grows setting breaths, a wax, a wane over time, develops claws, cleaving through the naval chain lick the fluid down live, my son I'd left you the world leave, ascend, the chosen one squint into the light of day be the martyr, once again let your vengeance guide your way it's all up to you. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: This was a bit of a departure from the way you've normally been writing in this series. I like it. Once again, your imagery here is quite wonderful. Did u know that there is also a bit of meter in this poem? "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Well duh.  If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought that this was pretty good. I liked the series. If I compare this one to the others though it's not as good. Good job though.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Allan, that was quite good. It wasnt as good as your last one, but this one was solid, i really like your work. Have fun, bye bye!! Keep it up! Jeff Baker Live a little everyday, and when its all over you'll have lived a alot. |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
Coolness... this series is getting quite interesting I do believe this was a little different from the rest as the others said but I truely appreciated it's description such as midnight red... etc. I loved thos italicized stanzas, they were quite splendid... nice job... "quivering, my open lips my life... drips" The Dreaded One |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
hey this is wicked good. i love the description, it enables you to really get good imagery in your head. and i love how you literally make the knife speak  great job, it's goin in my library! *Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is one awesome poem! I think this on is one of your best. I loved it... nice job Talk to you later--Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
...........................*coughs as crickets chirp and the crowd is left with jaws scraping against the hardwood floor, and a single clap of hands is heard echoing through the dense midnight air*............ "The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake." - Leonardo da Vinci |
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