Teen Poetry #4 |
Decisions |
LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Decisions My heart was hard My soul was cold My will was sharp All this as is my blade But then one day you came and took it all away My heart begaan to soften My sould began to warm My will began to dull This was good This was great For the first time I stood at lifes gates I cast down my blade needing it no more For now I had you But now you leave me Alone and broken hearted Where you have gone I do not know I have two choices but which to choose? Which way to go? I could choose to go back to that which I know To live my life alone In self imposed isolation To take myself and Forge my being as the blade I once held Or I could cast aside that which I knew And walk forward through the gates of life For in walking foreward I may find you For it is only in the light that it may be But if you are not there will I be able to cross back once more? Or will I be left alone in this strange new world? What am I to do ? It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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© Copyright 2001 Colin Heffernan - All Rights Reserved | |||
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the stucture of this poem is very good and really adds to the work. i really like the images and wording of this poem. very good job, keep posting! Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
I have to agree on the metaphores, really good pictures painted. A great message too, relevant to many people. No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really really enjoyed this poem. I think you oughta walk through the light and figure things out from there. It may be a new world, but you'll have much to learn from it. good luck. Great poem! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
*Applauds* This was fantastic! The imagery was beautiful, and the metaphors were awesome! VERY nice job, here! --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Thanks all of you for replying. i wasn't sure about this poem at all and it makes me feel good to know that you think its good. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Excellent writting my friend. Very impressive indeed. I hope to see more "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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