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grey::tears
Junior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 19
lost within my mind

0 posted 2001-03-11 10:19 AM

i feel the icy grasp of life
no longer can i struggle
no longer do i feel that i can break free
i know now
that it is no use
my valiant attempts to turn around
to be myself again
were brushed away
taken by the wind,
seen for a second
but taken into the distance
taken from my grasp
all i had left was my breath
with the squeeze of a finger, the twist of the knife
that was taken as well,
that was taken from me
i lay here
i appear safe, but i am hanging off a cliff
my chest moves, and air seems to pass my lips
but my breath is gone, and i swing to the edge
wishing to fall, and at let me go
i blink, and am back where you see me
i relized then that i was never gone
i had not moved from my space
but inside my head
i had taken a journey

hey guys, I wasn't talking about suicide in this poem as some of you may have interpreted. when used terms such as "over the edge" and "twist of a knife" i was referring to a mental state. being released from the place i had wondered to in my "journey." sorry for any confusion.

AKS

[This message has been edited by grey::tears (edited 03-11-2001).]

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2001-03-11 11:26 AM

This sounds like a terrifying journey grey::tears, you've expressed yourself very deeply in this emotional piece. We do have guidelines in place against posting poetry that glorifies or validates suicide, however if I'm interpreting this correctly, you are not condoning this, but rather exploring some very emotional issues through your mind. We care a great deal about our members, and I'm hoping that you are OK. Please e-mail me directly if you ever wish to talk.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

2 posted 2001-03-11 11:37 AM

Hey Gray::tears,

This was a great poem lots of feeling. Well I will cya tommorow and follow the rules heheheh not that I think that this poem says anything about killing yourself but what every cya laters

--Linc

"The goal is not allways the the reason something is done the path to get to the goal is more important."

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

3 posted 2001-03-11 12:10 PM

this was really good
i liked the part where it said that you had realized that you had never left because it was a journey inside. i think everyone experiences this feeling at least once. i really enjoyed that...~ethel~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-03-11 12:12 PM

You have a great amount of talent with free verse........Wonderful job. I absolutely LOVED this. I look forward to seeing so much more of u.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Tears of Glass
Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 182
Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure

5 posted 2001-03-11 02:34 PM

Very good poem... this shows tons of emotions. I really liked it, but then I love all of your work! See ya, girl.. and keep your head up.

*Jennifer

"My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see."

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-03-11 08:05 PM

very emotional poem
very heart felt if i may say
hang in there and be strong
if you need anyone to talk to
everyone in passions always lends an ear
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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