Open Poetry #12 |
A Beg for Pardon (to the warden) |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"what is it with you?" asked he of me... "what is it that you think you need?" All my needs? They have been met. As you can see, I'm not dead yet. But ask me now of my desires, stoking iron into the fire? Just asking makes the flame arise... while building walls of cold despise... I want, I want, a kindness shared I want to feel I want to care I want to be alive again a touch of gentle, dulling glare-- and yes, he touched me, yes I dared to lay my head to meet your stare and oh your anger much too late you should have asked me first--oblate sensation ever in my mind to think that I'm the last to find (Oh someone saw a spark in me!) illuminating life of free, and now it's almost over, done... there's beauty in the setting sun-- I wish - I want - you let this be and love enough to grant release you are, you are, the death of me-- the thief that steals the air I breathe. If you love me, let me go... or sit and stare as I die slow. |
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© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
WinterTalon Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141Brooksville, KY, USA |
Wow, the power... "The power touches me The power helps me see, The power holds my hand, The power drives me crazy" ~Amy Grant (Well, it's something along those lines) ~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~ |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Serenity...this just hit me in the gut... If you love me, let me go... or sit and stare as I die slow...letting go is never easy even when you KNOW its what you should do...hugs |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
All my needs? They have been met. As you can see, I'm not dead yet. But ask me now of my desires, stoking iron into the fire? Just asking makes the flame arise... while building walls of cold despise... I want, I want, a kindness shared I want to feel I want to care I want to be alive again ==================== sensation ever in my mind to think that I'm the last to find (Oh someone saw a spark in me!) illuminating life of free, and now it's almost over, done... there's beauty in the setting sun-- I wish - I want - you let this be and love enough to grant release you are, you are, the death of me-- the thief that steals the air I breathe. If you love me, let me go... or sit and stare as I die slow. ================== *shaking my head* the impact of those last 2 lines was like a kick in the chest. prayers for clemancy baby ... and the rest...you know. love ya me twin me When to the sessions of sweet silent thought, I summon up remembrance of things past ... I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought. ~Shakespeare~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Enchantress---thank you so much...you reply means much to me...so I humbly curtsey... Paula---good lord, last thing I wanted to do was hit ya in the gut...lol..hugs instead? Thank you lovie! JM? I know you know that I know you know, so...'nuff said? LOL and hugs lady! HUGS TO FORUM...from the the poet in the bright orange suit...#00069...lol HUGS TO FORUM |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
the girl can write! ain't no doubt about that!... you said a lot in this one and expressed human needs well.... fine writing here, ms. serene one.... (love that word "oblate".. thanks! nothing like expanding my vocabluary first thing in the morning...!) |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Serenity, Your thoughts speak strongly in this piece. If someone truley loves another they will do anything to make that person happy even if that means no longer being with that person if that person wishes not to be with him/her... Very sharply expressed between needings and wantings. Excellent writing. Poeminister "...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." -Poe |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
serenity, I don't know how i missed this when u posted it. Words are placed very nicely... We all want peacefulness. So very well expressed. This needed to be bump to the top, for everyone to read, if they missed it the first time around, just like it did with me. Bernie |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Serenity, I enjoy poetry that allows one to see into another's soul. This is such an example. Love unrequited can indeed seem as a torturous death. You captured me with this one. David2 |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'm with JM... The entire poem is powerful, but the last two lines... WOW!!!! Well done! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
ok, have to say thanks to the above suthern lady who sent this to me...and it touched me so deeply that I had to come back and look it up and post...this is incredible...you just took my life and put it on paper, I have written poem after poem, trying to say just this...you did it so eloquently, the sadness cuts to the quick......sigh...really nice work lady, hugs and wishes for a speedy parole |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you all very much...had to pop in to say that...and CORAZON...IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU....big hugs to you...and? "what you are in for?" ---"we're all innocent"-- Shawshank Redemption...love to you, gettin' my giggles where I can! Love to all, and Hugs to forum. |
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