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| Open Poetry #12 |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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the darkness plays amongst the shadow the path is wide, the gate is narrow I bite the bullet--taste my marrow I offer blood, life of love... the bitter taste of our sorrow... and if I could be done again take from me the fleshly sin I wish to wish away my skin and with that bury all tomorrows... in the hole that's filled with hollow I cast a wretchedness foreskinned... Oh tell me, I'm alive, I wake! Tell me which gods to forsake... repasting shards of heart in break-- and whisper love to me again... A door? adore... I'll enter in... dried of tears absolved of sin. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
and whisper love to me again... A door? adore... I'll enter in... dried of tears absolved of sin. Excellent...powerfully written. Poeminister |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Just as Poeminister...that last stanza is gripping, superb, powerful! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
psssssssssssssst.... i love you... lol!!! does THAT help?? geez... anyway, great write here, ms. k and cheers to you! and if i whisper any more, i think my throat is going to dry up so where's that .22? y'know? LOL... boom!!! just kidding with you, girl... i have a sick sense of humor sometimes, don't i? well? could be worse, right? i could not be laughing at all and let me tell you, been there already as i'm sure you have, too... luvtoyou and this dor just whispers.... shhhhhhhhhhh.... lol! *wink* be well, miss k... emelater?  |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Girl...mm mmm mmm...this is raw...powerful write and so thought provoking...Oh tell me, I'm alive, I wake! I really like this line |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
How is it that you can write dark yet shed light? Well done Serene, Rich |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Oh tell me, I'm alive, I wake! Tell me which gods to forsake... repasting shards of heart in break-- and whisper love to me again... A door? adore... I'll enter in... dried of tears absolved of sin." Incredibly emotive Serenity ... wonderful writing. You turned the sorrow around beautifully to conclude in a lovely inspirational light, a great read!  Best wishes, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 01-20-2001).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Poe? you are a sweet one indeed...thank you so much for all of your gentle kindness. VAS? you too...have been so lovely to me...I hug you with gratitude...thanks a million. doreen? psssst....let's give 'em something to talk about....lol...whisper.."i love you too" Paula? thank you much m'fair lady...I do appreciate your reading...now? on to Lilith???? grin Rich..it's easy...with the right inspiration Kit...your replies mean the world to me...you are the sweetest heart and a lovely poet...much gratitude... thank you all, and HUGS TO FORUM |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wonderful poem... and if I may, I'll just ditto Kit. *S* The last verse is incredible! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Shades of Edgar Allen Poe here, Serenity.< !signature--> Kathleen [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 01-25-2001).] |
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