And sadness crept in - pipTalk Forums

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walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

0 posted 2001-03-18 11:17 AM

Sadness came,
and found me sleeping.
When I awoke,
it was too late.
She had crept,
into my soul.
If I would have been aware,
I would have not let her in.
Now,
I walk dragging her along.
I can't smile,
because it hurts.
I can't laugh,
because I cry.
Sadness came,
and found me sleeping.
Now,
she just can't let me go.
She will brake,
all my illusions.
And replace them,
with new sorrows.
I just hope,
my heart is strong enough,
because sometimes it seems,
too much.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-03-18 11:50 AM

Oh, yes, any opportunity to move in, it will try...it's my hope you come through it quickly, you are strong enough, you are.

This is a very fine piece, the rhythm and flow is quite good until the last few lines. You might wnat to look at what happens there. Of course, it may also indicate the onset of change for you...the beginning of the end of sadness. So maybe it was quite intentional.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

2 posted 2001-03-18 12:54 PM

Dear Walker when sadness creeps in it is hard to hang on, and at the time it seems as though there will never be a chance to smile again. I hope you have begun to heal or will soon. Love, Joyce

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

3 posted 2001-03-18 02:03 PM

I've found that when sadness creeps in. . . it's only for a while. . .

excellent my friend. . . one thing that you might want to look at is the way that you're using the commas at the end of some of your lines. . .

well done. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

4 posted 2001-03-18 02:08 PM

How can we tell what "love" is to ourselves without experiencing not only the joy of beginnings, but also the heartache of good-byes. The next "love" will become more mature becuase of you experience in knowing what is that you want and do not want. Good rhythm and flow with an ending of determination.

"I am not now that which I have been."

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