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Toerag and the Pope
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Toerag and the Pope |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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****an old joke for an old joker...Toe **** The Pope came to the U.S. for the first time last July. His nerves were quite on edge because he didn't like to fly. A chauffeur driven limousine had met him at the gate To take him to the stadium so he would not be late. When he looked at that limousine his brows rose in surprise The car was so darned gorgeous he could not believe his eyes! It had a TV, stereo, a microwave and such And other luxuries to be had by a simple touch. As they were driving down the road he tapped the chauffeur's arm And said, "I'd like a favor if it won't do any harm. This car must be the greatest thing I've ever held in view And, if it's alright, let me drive it for a block or two." The chauffeur wasn't mensa but he wasn't any dope. He knew he was nobody to say "No, sir" to the Pope! So they swapped seats and off they went! The Pope stomped on the gas Thw chauffeur, cringing in the back, was busy saying mass. Within no time they saw the red lights in the rearview mirror The Pope had driven WAY too fast...that fact was very clear. So he pulled over, waiting for his punishment and sighed As Officer Toerag, club in hand, approached him from the side. The Pope rolled down the pane..Toe almost had a heart attack! Then gathered his composure and said "Sir, I'll be right back." He walked back to his car, got Captain on the radio And said, "Cap, I've got something here I think you ought to know." "You said if we stopped someone big to always let you know... Well, I've stopped someone REALLY big!"... so stammered our good Toe "Who did you stop?", the Captain said.."Some civic leader there? Or maybe some bank president to give you such a scare?" "Did you stop some reporter or talk host on the radio Or TV personality?" ....."No, BIGGER", stammered Toe. "Who you got there? Donald Trump? Toe, you got the Mayor? Don't tell me that you got the governor handcuffed to you there! Hell, you could have the President himself for all I know.. Is that who you pulled over?"..."No, much BIGGER!" stuttered Toe. "Bigger than the President??? Toe, what a dunce you are! Who in blazes have you got pulled over in that car? You got some foreign leader of some country?"...Toe said, "Nope. I don't know who it is yet but his chauffeur is the POPE!!!!" . |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah, the stories Toe will have to tell the grandkiddies..... enjoyed the laugh! |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
This is great...I may laugh all night on this one! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
ROFL ... wonderful Michael, thank you for the late-night smiles!  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
So much rhyme ... way too much time LOL you KNOW your the king of cadence in this right? very cool Deer.. Toe always inspires great things in you  ROFLWe wish ourselves beautiful, |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I really like your poetry AND your humor. Thanks. Joyce |
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Katherine Chandler Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 280Florida, USA |
Michael, thank you for the laugh, I totally enjoyed this one.  KateBe blessed! Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
OMG! Got it! This was just a crackup!. I am terrible - never get jokes - so this was really good, and I got it! Great job now I bet that took you a while to concoct, he he. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ Only YOU ... Oh my ! But this is a classic ! Thanks for the *giggles* ...  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
What a wonderful yarn to which awaken. You've live up to your name. I laughed out loud and pictured one flustered policeman. Very fun. "I am not now that which I have been." |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
Balladeer, by the title I had no idea how you were going to pick on dear Mr. Toerag, but you did good! I just love this and it makes even this old lady laugh! Hugs, ME |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Toerag in a uniform just makes me want to swoon. Only a good friend like you Balladeer would let us women know the secret life of Toe.  Every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson [This message has been edited by inot2B (edited 03-18-2001).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
ROFL  Hilarious, Balladeer! *ouch* *my sides hurt from laughing so hard* |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is great Balladeer...James |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sunshine...yep, but he'll probably change the names around..you know Toe JLR...don't wake the neighbors!!  glad you enjoyedKit...I am SO happy to be responsible for a late-night smile of yours JM....yep...and so do you!!!! Joyce...What a nice thing to say...I thank you Katherine...I AM...by your approval. Thank you Mysteria...I save my best concoctions for Toe..glad you had fun with it!! Marge...you are so cute when you giggle!! Thank you!Julian...hehe...Toe goes through his whole life flustered! Thank you...Mother...If you ever see the word Toe in one of my titles, rest assured I'm gonna pick on him. Isn't that what toes are for? inot2B...yea, Toe makes me swoon, too...in a different way! Denise...I've been called a pain in the side before!! LOL! Thank you, friend of mine James...and I thank you for enjoying |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The title told me right away You'd be giving Toerag hell... I've heard this joke told many times But never told so well... *G* Great job, Deer One... I'd been wondering where that scalawag was... now we know he's been moonlighting as a speed trap! LOL |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
rofl!!!  |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Balladeer, please add my name to your list of admirers ~ this was great fun. Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
*applauding* Balladeer, you rock! SEA |
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