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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-03-15 11:38 PM


A seedling grew
beneath a cup--
struggling
for a warmth of sup...
a simple planting,
seedling grew...
Now how can I
plow--uproot, YOU?

Like a spring
of secret sun--
a flood, a drought,
I grew, become
unveiling I,
the worst of me--
my struggle to
shed hull of seed.

And all devotion
of the sun--
has now become
silence undone,
the darkness
gathered in a cloud
reminding me
to not be proud.

I will not beg.
I will not plea.
No sorrow finds me
on my knees,
I simply wish
to know this much--
that you, also,
wanted my touch.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-03-15 11:42 PM


Oh yes Serenity....we so want, and need, your touch....

and the sun glows at the thought of life, under the touch of you....

ATelamon
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up
2 posted 2001-03-15 11:43 PM


spilling along the thoughtwaysLife
chances happen four way stops are a
reason to ponder and project what lies
behind the road more or less traveled

would anyhthing be the same



"Be your own hero. Save your interior landscape. As in all mythos the blight can be defeated and the land turned back to freedom and fertility.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2001-03-16 01:23 AM


You gotta know I love this one...HUGS
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-03-16 07:27 AM


these feelings tell me the person who would feel this way should not be on her knees for anyone. We are far above begging, I simply won't stand in line for anyone, how about you, I've stood in line all of my life, sorry for the rant. I think your poetry is very open and sincere and I sense a sadness.
Peace. Everyone wants it but do you realize not many poems are written of it, some of course, I'm rambling, I'm a rambling rose
I guess. Best to you

[This message has been edited by Kathleen (edited 03-16-2001).]

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
5 posted 2001-03-16 10:24 AM


Wow serenity,

I'll take your touch any time. Opps i do in all your poems and replies, and it is a nice touch, that you have brought upon us.

i can also see wanting to grow from the start of the seed. Not a bad thing, to start fresh.

Bernie

Bernie Slicker

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

6 posted 2001-03-16 10:36 AM


oh these feelings lady.....you put them down so eloquently...I keep backspacing, I can't seem to make my reply read clear, as your poem already says it all, I will just applaud
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-03-17 12:43 PM


Now how can I
plow--uproot, YOU?

=======================
unveiling I,
the worst of me--
my struggle to
shed hull of seed.

And all devotion
of the sun--
has now become
silence undone,
========================

I will not beg.
I will not plea.
No sorrow finds me
on my knees,
I simply wish
to know this much--
that you, also,
wanted my touch.
======================

oh Sen ... every line...
I felt every word.
you cry rhymes baby.

"And all devotion
of the sun--
has now become
silence undone,

I simply wish
to know this much--
that you, also,
wanted my touch."

and every word touches me twin...in places deep.
hugs KA ..
love you me

We wish ourselves beautiful,
we cry in the night.
Its not the love you fear ...
its the fall from the height.
~Edwin McCain~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
8 posted 2001-03-17 01:55 PM


S, all of this, but especially the last stanza...WOW.
Sandra

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
9 posted 2001-03-17 02:26 PM


serene one....

take my advice!

BEG!!!!!!!!!



make sure you're on your knees doing it
... can be fun down there.... LOL
*wink*


y'know?


there's nothing like the feeling of sore knees
after a good beg
yummm!!! rofl

i crack myself up

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-03-18 02:42 PM


doreen cracks me up too!!!  LOL

ouch!!!! . . . hey that hurt

seriously, this was great. . . but I would say to never beg. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2001-03-18 02:52 PM


True love never makes us beg, it is returned tenfold unto us to share. May the sun always shine upon you brightly my friend.

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2001-03-18 03:02 PM


What beautiful poetic humility Celeste........
"And all devotion
of the sun--
has now become
silence undone,
the darkness
gathered in a cloud
reminding me
to not be proud."

But not so humble as to lose self respect.... yet, a simple yearning call for tenderness gently sprinkled with love and recognition.

Great writing there my poet pal you sure can get your heart into it!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2001-03-18 04:10 PM


Karilea...that's one of the sweetest replies...I'm touched. (but ya'll KNEW that!)
THANK YOU!

AT--thank you also for the poetic reply--and? I prefer a four way stop to a fork in the road...as ya probably know...according to blues legends...souls are bought and sold at the fork in the road...

Paula...if we keep hugging each other you'll probably get an e mail from the boyfriend...oh hell, I'll risk it!!! HUGS back and thanks!

Ramble on...rose...you ramble beautifully! and no...no begging...even when I feel like it!

Bernie..yer sweet and I thank you much. Keeping you in my prayers, m'friend.

jb? grinning again...once told a friend that I backspaced all the complaints out of a reply to her once and there was nothing left!
ROFL...LOVE YA MUCH!

JM...YOU are the queen of poetry appreciation and replies, and I can't tell ya how much it means to me to be included!
many many hugs....I am so grateful!

Sandra...Hope that things are going well for you...missed ya at mardi gras! thank you as well for your continued attention. HUGS to you as well...(might as well keep the boyfriend confused!)

doreen? I must add only that when I am on my knees? It's not ME doing the begging!

Sven...yep, she cracks me up too! LOL! thank you my friend!

Lone Wolf...you are so gracious and sweet, and I am so glad that we became friends! Thank you!

ethome...my poetry pal! I cherish your continued friendship---thank you so much for understanding me so well! And? not quite sure how to keep my heart OUT of it! HUGS.

Thanks to all...with hugs to the forum!

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