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secret sun
| Open Poetry #12 |
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secret sun |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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A seedling grew beneath a cup-- struggling for a warmth of sup... a simple planting, seedling grew... Now how can I plow--uproot, YOU? Like a spring of secret sun-- a flood, a drought, I grew, become unveiling I, the worst of me-- my struggle to shed hull of seed. And all devotion of the sun-- has now become silence undone, the darkness gathered in a cloud reminding me to not be proud. I will not beg. I will not plea. No sorrow finds me on my knees, I simply wish to know this much-- that you, also, wanted my touch. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh yes Serenity....we so want, and need, your touch.... and the sun glows at the thought of life, under the touch of you.... |
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
spilling along the thoughtwaysLife chances happen four way stops are a reason to ponder and project what lies behind the road more or less traveled would anyhthing be the same "Be your own hero. Save your interior landscape. As in all mythos the blight can be defeated and the land turned back to freedom and fertility. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
You gotta know I love this one...HUGS |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
these feelings tell me the person who would feel this way should not be on her knees for anyone. We are far above begging, I simply won't stand in line for anyone, how about you, I've stood in line all of my life, sorry for the rant. I think your poetry is very open and sincere and I sense a sadness. Peace. Everyone wants it but do you realize not many poems are written of it, some of course, I'm rambling, I'm a rambling rose I guess. Best to you [This message has been edited by Kathleen (edited 03-16-2001).] |
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bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
Wow serenity, I'll take your touch any time. Opps i do in all your poems and replies, and it is a nice touch, that you have brought upon us. i can also see wanting to grow from the start of the seed. Not a bad thing, to start fresh.  Bernie Bernie Slicker |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
oh these feelings lady.....you put them down so eloquently...I keep backspacing, I can't seem to make my reply read clear, as your poem already says it all, I will just applaud |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Now how can I plow--uproot, YOU? ======================= unveiling I, the worst of me-- my struggle to shed hull of seed. And all devotion of the sun-- has now become silence undone, ======================== I will not beg. I will not plea. No sorrow finds me on my knees, I simply wish to know this much-- that you, also, wanted my touch. ====================== oh Sen ... every line... I felt every word. you cry rhymes baby. "And all devotion of the sun-- has now become silence undone, I simply wish to know this much-- that you, also, wanted my touch." and every word touches me twin...in places deep. hugs KA .. love you  meWe wish ourselves beautiful, we cry in the night. Its not the love you fear ... its the fall from the height. ~Edwin McCain~ |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
S, all of this, but especially the last stanza...WOW. Sandra |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
serene one.... take my advice! BEG!!!!!!!!!make sure you're on your knees doing it ... can be fun down there.... LOL *wink* y'know? there's nothing like the feeling of sore knees after a good beg yummm!!! rofl i crack myself up |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
doreen cracks me up too!!! LOL ouch!!!! . . . hey that hurt seriously, this was great. . . but I would say to never beg. . . ----------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
True love never makes us beg, it is returned tenfold unto us to share. May the sun always shine upon you brightly my friend. Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
What beautiful poetic humility Celeste........ "And all devotion of the sun-- has now become silence undone, the darkness gathered in a cloud reminding me to not be proud." But not so humble as to lose self respect.... yet, a simple yearning call for tenderness gently sprinkled with love and recognition. Great writing there my poet pal you sure can get your heart into it! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Karilea...that's one of the sweetest replies...I'm touched. (but ya'll KNEW that!)  THANK YOU!AT--thank you also for the poetic reply--and? I prefer a four way stop to a fork in the road...as ya probably know...according to blues legends...souls are bought and sold at the fork in the road... Paula...if we keep hugging each other you'll probably get an e mail from the boyfriend...oh hell, I'll risk it!!! HUGS back and thanks!  Ramble on...rose...you ramble beautifully! and no...no begging...even when I feel like it! Bernie..yer sweet and I thank you much. Keeping you in my prayers, m'friend. jb? grinning again...once told a friend that I backspaced all the complaints out of a reply to her once and there was nothing left! ROFL...LOVE YA MUCH! JM...YOU are the queen of poetry appreciation and replies, and I can't tell ya how much it means to me to be included! many many hugs....I am so grateful! Sandra...Hope that things are going well for you...missed ya at mardi gras! thank you as well for your continued attention. HUGS to you as well...(might as well keep the boyfriend confused!) doreen? I must add only that when I am on my knees? It's not ME doing the begging! Sven...yep, she cracks me up too! LOL! thank you my friend! Lone Wolf...you are so gracious and sweet, and I am so glad that we became friends! Thank you! ethome...my poetry pal! I cherish your continued friendship---thank you so much for understanding me so well! And? not quite sure how to keep my heart OUT of it! HUGS. Thanks to all...with hugs to the forum! |
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