Open Poetry #12 |
Quicksand Lies |
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
(written for a poetic sister) Quicksand lies from devil’s lips the more he talks the deeper she slips Sweet words of love softly spoken until she becomes his curio token She hangs upon his silken word forsaking sense she becomes absurd Too late she feels the suffocation as lies and pain become invocation Mouth filled with sand from quicksand lies she won’t speak her spirit dies. |
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© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
I would hope....that all know that poetry speaks....to those who remain silent....and those who don't, speak loudest.... good write, PdV.... [This message has been edited by Lady In White (edited 03-14-2001).] |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Your short poetry speaks volumes. Wonderful Joyce |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Lady, I'm not sure what you mean. Thank you Joyce. Sometimes short is better!! LOL |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
so true so true Sharon... cool write...the succinct lines gave it a cryptic feel about it... could be for far too many who fall this way.. poets and poetesses ... lies smother love every time ... well done PDV. Sprayed across my heart and hers Danced butterflies in the wild This angel, this woman , who loves me with the innocence of a child. ~DeVante~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
superb. . . a reminder that we can be lost in those words. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Sharon~ Very well expressed with a strong, flowing style! Hopefully, your words will convince your poetic sis to give him the boot, because with lies there is no love!~ Take care, Melissa~ |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
*sigh* Sharon, Leave it to you to get to the point and do it very well. I enjoyed this. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh, how true is this..and how sad that it is. Wonderful write, Sharon. Take care. Sandra |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Well done, PDV. A quick read, and worth every second. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Sharon this is deep! I love it! It's very well written, and speaks loudly! <*\\\>< I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. I don't question YOUR existance - GOD |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Well said!! I think your message will be heard loud and clear. Excellent. Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Great advise you are giving, I hope your poetic sister is not co-depedant and thinks she is going to change him - rule number one: if he tell you who he is (and they all do, just try to listen), believe him, and run for the hills if you don't like what you are hearing because we never can change anyone! She has a friend in you, and I do hope she knows that. Great message to her and anyone else in a destructive relationship. Good jober Sharon! ~*~A poet is someone who reads more than they write ~*~ [This message has been edited by Mysteria (edited 03-15-2001).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all for you understanding. It was either write this or kick her in the shins!! |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
What a strong piece on betrayal and the pain of it. WEll done! Just as Joyce said, volumes in a tiny morsel. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sigh...I HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT. not really...yanno that. love and appreciate you, ALWAYS. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
AAAAHHH PDV...this is excellent...I hope she listens...to often we see only what our hearts choose to see...and not the reality...hugs to you and your friend...I know exactly what she is going through |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I read the other comments and agree with all.....well written and so much said in a few short verses......one of the things I like so much is the title, it's simply so perfect for the content of the poem from the reader catching opening........... "Quicksand lies from devil’s lips the more he talks the deeper she slips" to the cutting ending........ "Mouth filled with sand from quicksand lies she won’t speak her spirit dies." The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
ok, i ditto, all of the above, so i am just bumping this with my reply...lol Bernie Bernie Slicker |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ya mean I'm missing a shin kickin'? *G* Dern! LOL. Seriously, PDV... this is excellent. I can't really add to what has been said already except to say that a true friend tells us the tough stuff... and you've told it beautifully. |
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