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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2001-03-13 09:55 AM

**A Year Ago , I felt this way
**It seems to return upon this day:

Dreams of Reality (title once inspired by Victoria)

He says I am not living real
my heart felt thoughts, just fantasy.
Even though to me it seems
I dream my real, to live them, be.
Fantadreams or phantomdreams,
they touch me in a special way.
Whispered breaths when feeling, soft,
contented, I, at least that day.

It's been a year,
he says too long
Should be moving,
growing strong.
But in my dreams, reality
is holding tight.
No release, I see.

A step to right, or one to left
if made will I be on my way?
Or is it forward I must go,
to make some progress,
what does he say?

A coward I, he says,
it's true.
I guess inside I am one,
too.
Changes made in haste
aren't clear,
so softly smiling
I sit here,
and feel the pain
from many words
that offer not
a comfort heard.
Instead a disappointment, I
as always feeling
blame and cry.
What's the use
in my mind, see,
only dreams
of reality.
Sometimes I think
and feel, it's me,
a fantasy of fantasy.

~Wynter/Maureen

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2001-03-13 02:41 PM

This is a painful one, Wynter... I hope your visit back to these thoughts is one to measure progress made. *S* Well done!

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2001-03-13 03:10 PM

And what is it the anniversary of...if I should know...pardon my fuzzy brain. I'm guessing a major loss, and one doesn't just 'get over' those.

May sunshine fill you view and your heart.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

3 posted 2001-03-13 04:04 PM

Yes, and where is Victoria anyway, I miss her and this is lovely, I am the world's biggest dreamer. I like your style, subtle and soft, yes, that's it SOFT words for my spirit. TGhanks again for the frame on my pic!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2001-03-13 04:09 PM

Thank you suthern,

and VAS

a year ago I began to feel the loss of control of my life...of a thirty year marriage...dealing with an alcoholic, loss of attention, feelings of instability...not knowing what it was leading up to, just anxiety showing it's face. Eventually I came to realize that I can't sit back and let it all be stolen from me. Yesterday, those feelings returned making for me a very miserable day of hiding out from the world...and now I feel like I have to start over pushing myself to regain that part of me that is strong and can overcome these feelings.

Kathleen, Victoria needed a break from here and says it is doing her a world of good *s...helps relieve those dark circles from too much glare *s huggzz and I am glad you liked the way it turned out. I shall have to go take a look now.

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

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