Open Poetry #12 |
Distance |
KokoStewartKoomoa Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580Waikiki, Hawaii |
cold sounds of silence- sometimes almost deafening distant horizons I revised this poem from the first edition which read: ~Quiet Thoughts~ cold sounds of silence- sometimes almost deafening midnight blue snowstrom |
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© Copyright 2001 Cheryl Stewart Koomoa - All Rights Reserved | |||
POETIC THUG Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 42HOUSTON TEXAS BABY |
SOMETIMES THOUGHS R THA BEST ONES |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I do like the revision, but the midnight blue snowstorms is a great line. Hope you can use it in another piece. |
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Katherine Chandler Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 280Florida, USA |
Hi Koko- I really like the term 'midnight blue snowstorms'- beautiful way to phrase snow.. And..it's so nice to see you here! Love you, my friend.. Kate Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. T S Eliot |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Koko, I do love the revised one but do agree would love to see this line used in something it's perfect, "Midnight blue snowstorm" Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well I was lucky enough to be saturated in the first lovely words, and now get the second version as well, wow! Gee, I am one lucky girl. Koko, I like the first one better actually, but I live on a mountain so don't listen to me, these are both fabulous haiku. Think I shall do some today! |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
I love haikus and these are no exception. What lovely images you have painted Don't ever give in, if you do you've lost everything you've ever had and everything you hope to gain, but if you carry on your already winning. |
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Ekatherina Michon New Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 1 |
Hello Koko, Nice to see you here. Just joined the family and was pleasently surprised to find some familiar names. I believe that the first thought always is the best and it reflects our intuition in most perfect way. Your first version sounds to me closer to my idea of haiku with this element of surprise in the third line. Loved it! ~Ekaterina |
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KokoStewartKoomoa Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580Waikiki, Hawaii |
Big smiles to all of you for answering me!!! Probably the muses first thought is best... Thanks so much for commenting! I am happy to see you here too Ekatherina ! What a joy having so many of my poetry friends come to post here as well. YES!!!!!!! aloha and warm hugs to all of you! Passion,imagination and intellect running together... Poetry in motion~~~ Aloha with warmest regards, Koko [This message has been edited by KokoStewartKoomoa (edited 03-10-2001).] |
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windwarrior_RJ Junior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 28California |
Hello Koko, I have missed YOU ....I really have! This poem seems a bit on the low side for you. How are you? You know I adore your poems and I always will...just almost as much as you. I am going to look for more of your poems here. I posted my first one. Please take a look. Remeber that poem? Take care of yourself, love, RJ |
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