Open Poetry #12 |
Black and White Veils |
CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Black and White Veils The curtain decends And still in the end The pretense remains Of the parts you did play Standing before me On center of stage Masquerading your heart Among family and friends Shielding yourself From truth and of love Your choice was to run Leaving shadows behind Of day dreams that trail Black and white veils Then all of a sudden My mind casually drifts Entranced in the thought Of when we first kissed Lost in the haze Of feelings once craved Tears begin to subside From the song of your lullaby And like seasons that change Your memory does fade And reality sways Like autum leaves on brisk days Trickling downwards In gusts of chilled winds Left hovering bent Are fragile stark limbs As a love becomes bittersweet The innocence is stripped Now brittle to feel Left crumbling at heels Eventually resting On delicate threads Of daydreams that trail Black and White veils [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 03-09-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 CocoBaci - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Coco? you touched deep here...reminded me of the pillars of Joachim and Boaz...outside of the temple...the symbolism here just blew me away, with of course, the temperate middle path as a guideline. Seemingly simple...but not very. Love it. " Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Coco - you have expressed many feelings here, ones that I can relate too. Wish you the best. BC |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Dani~ What a lovely presentation of thoughts. You fairly shine in this one. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Your choice was to run Leaving shadows behind Of day dreams that trail Black and white veils Then all of a sudden My mind casually drifts Entranced in the thought Of when we first kissed Lost in the haze Of feelings once craved Tears begin to subside From the song of your lullaby And like seasons that change Your memory does fade ======================== this is awesome Coco ... very cool writing... love the title and the presentation of format very creative perspective to write from... the way you took us thru the cycle of emotions accented by the imagery very well done sweet poetess jm Some find subtlety in strangers some find subtlety alone Your eyes,you see everything my eyes,I see its all together now and I know. ~candlebox~ |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Like autum leaves on brisk days Trickling downwards In gusts of chilled winds Left hovering bent Are fragile stark limbs As a love becomes bittersweet" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Coco...this brings such vivid images to my mind while reading..... this is excellent!! Truly a fantastic write from you SEA |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This reminded me of the chapel veils we wore in grade school. NOw, white was in (sign of purity and all but me, I wanted black, well, Kathleen walked in church one day with a black chapel veil and everyone turned to gasp! Soon, the church was filled with happy little 8 yr. old girls swaying back and forth singing Glory! wearing BLACK chapel veils! ha ha wanted to share that with you! Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Thank you so very much for reading this poem, it has special meanings for me and my heart hugs each of you for the support and compassion you share with me each time I visit these pages blue... Hugs2uPoetFriends ~coco~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice Coco...James |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Coco...you knwo you are loved here within this family...hugs to you dearlin...and this...this is just awesome |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
The words of this piece seem to trickle down the page as if from a slow moving waterfall, could there be such a thing? |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Excellent title and the flow of this piece is flawless. Wonderful writing. Poeminister [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 03-09-2001).] |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Coco, I have a feeling there is more here than meets the eye, but what exactly I could never guess. Wonderful poem filled with mystery and emotion my friend. Always nice to see you here. Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
PoetFriends, thank you for taking the time to comment on the poem and for the friendly hugs because ya know those hugs make me smile from the inside out and that's the honest truth |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh my, I do know this same person you write about, I swear. This is beatiful, the words, the flow, the presentation. Very very nice. And sad, which I understand well. Sandra |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Shielding yourself From truth and of love Your choice was to run Leaving shadows behind Of day dreams that trail Black and white veils Shadows of daydreams trailing veils... Not only does this poem (and particularly this passage) touch my heart, I love the images it leaves in my mind! *S* Well done! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
the veils of life and of love. . . shown here in vivid textures. . . wonderful poetFriend Coco. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Coco this is a great write! you have brought out the truth about untruth and your composition is so well done ! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
beautiful in words and in presentation ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
CatalinaMoon, I'm pleased to read that you liked this and ya know what they say everyone has a double out there someplace Suthern, thank you for your response as it truly means alot to me in receiving mention of 'well done' in a reply from you Sven, my dearPoetFriend, thank you for the 'wonderful' ya know I enjoy the feedback from you... the talented 'dark' writer who we treasure so very much here Ethome, your response just fills me with so much enthusiasm you'll never know sweetie and I thank you for taking the time to comment here Wynter, nice to see you sweetie, and I always appreciate your kindness in replies hugs2u |
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