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Open Poetry #12
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Deep Inside(let me Know What u Think)only#2
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Deep Inside(let me Know What u Think)only#2 |
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POETIC THUG Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 42HOUSTON TEXAS BABY |
DEEP INSIDE THERE IS A FEALING INSIDE THAT WE CHOOSE TO HIDE. AFRAID TO LET IT SHOW, KNOWING THAT THEY WILL KNOW. SO WE DONT LET GO WE ARE SCARED WHAT WE WILL FIND DEEP INSIDE CONSTANTLY SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING THAT WILL STOP ALL THE HURTING. "HOWS IT SAPOSED TO BE" THE QUESTION. "LIFE" THE LESSON WALKING AS IF WE'R BLIND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING WE MAY NEVER FIND. KEEPING THIS FEELING DEEP INSIDE BLIND FROM THE PAIN YERNING FOR A VOICE CALLING OUR NAME CONSTANTLY SCREEMING SILENTLY NEEDING. THINKING OF YOU BUITIFULL AS THE SUN, I INSTICTAVLY TURN AND RUN. FEELING MY HART START BURNING FROM WHAT WE MAY FIND DEEP INSIDE WE GO THROUGH LIFE CONSTANTLY SEEKING KNOWING THAT THERE IS A MEENING. WE ARE ALWAYS BLEEDING TAKING A CHANCE ASKING "WHY" WE ARE LOST DEEP INSIDE EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NOT MET, WE KNOW WHAT WE NEED. OUT OF EACH OTHER THIS WE BRING, YOU VOICE....A "DRUG", MYSELF...."THE FIEND". DO WE DARE TO DREAM? DANCING LIFES LITTLE DANCE? I AM IN YOU AND YOU ARE IN ME.... MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE US WE FOR THAT IS ALL WE WANT TO BE. NO MATTER WHATS TO COME WE WILL ALWAYS BE DEEP INSIDE |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
This is very deep, I believe we are all destined to have a soul mate. Beauty is deep within and when you find that soul mate, a glimmer shines through to make you one. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
psst!!! Just a little note. All caps here on the net is like yelling and it makes for hard reading. Could you post your next 3000 poems in lower case? Thanks! I look forward to reading them.  |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
It makes you think of what is inside yourself when you read this.. Nicely done... ~*Peachy Be*~ |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Depth, Depth, Depth! *cheering* I love depth! I shall reflect on this for a bit...have alot of thoughts on it. Like that depth though!  To hold tomorrow we must first be willing to let go of yesterday. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I enjoyed your poem and the context of it very much, however I have some suggestions which I will email you as I am not sure what protcol on this as yet. Thank you for a most enjoyable read. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Opps...you don't have email so I shall do it here. I feel your poem could have ended at the line, then we are we...this would have said it all so nicely and tied it up. I can't stress enough the value of a good dictionary or doing your poem in word first, spell checking it, and then cut and paste to the site.(if you do not know how email me and I will explain how to do this). When there are spelling errors it slows the reader right down and you loose them, as the trend of thought changes. I do mean this not to be a bad criticism, but as constructive words to help and encourage you, so I do hope you take them in the spirit given. Migth I suggest a site to you: Dictionary.com, and Rhymezone.com, here you can find synonyms, and also do your spelling check if you don't have one with your software. Respectfully yours. |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Poetic Thug, (DEEP INSIDE CONSTANTLY SEARCHING THE LESSON "LIFE" "WHY" YERNING FOR A VOICE CALLING OUR NAME THINKING OF YOU BUITIFULL AS THE SUN, I INSTICTAVLY TURN AND RUN. DO WE DARE TO DREAM?) I think your poem was wonderful and the above lines show that you are searching for answers to life's questions in earnest, and that to me is a good start to finding them and I hope you do, keep on dreaming. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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POETIC THUG Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 42HOUSTON TEXAS BABY |
I JUST WANNA THANK ALL OF U FOR THE KIND WORDS.THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND POEM I HAVE EVER WRITEN.EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW HARD U CAN BE ON YOURSELF. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I admire greatly someone who puts themself out there for the first time, it's scary. Let's jazz this up a bit, notice my spelling and the way the words flow more easily (I believe) There's a feeling deep inside but it's one we have tried to hide we’re afraid to let it show worried that others will know so we just don’t let go, won't let it go we’re just afraid of what we’ll find deep inside we are constantly searching for something to stop the hurting and wondering “How's it supposed to be?” The question is there for the asking but the answer is walking blind seeking something we’ll never find, never find. we continue to keep this feeling, deep inside deep inside. We lose vision from all of the pain and we yearn for the sound of our name CONSTANTLY screaming, hardly believing but your beauty shines as the sun and my instincts tell me to run and my heart is on fire, I dare to aspire for questions keep burning and I just keep turning away from what I know we may find FROM WHAT WE MAY FIND DEEP INSIDE deep inside. There's a meaning to life we are seeking and we lose ourselves in our needing take a chance, ask me why? are we lost, deep inside deep inside OH, we need to meet but we deny it out of each other we hear a voice. It's a drug and we both want to try it let's be friends, but not dare to dream deep insidde. just my opinion!!! Sorry if I got carried away, I was singing Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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