navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » Mirage
Open Poetry #12
Post A Reply Post New Topic Mirage Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785


0 posted 2001-03-06 06:43 PM


Mirage

This afternoon
I wasn’t even thinking about you
When I walked into the other room
And saw you there
Sitting cross-legged on my stool.
My mind screamed to close my eyes
Before my heart could see
Too late, my throat went tight and dry
Breath stopped, I missed a step and hoped that no one noticed.
A second chance
To change the days, the words, the pain
To rewrite the ending
Into a never ending song.
A second chance
To love you
The way I wish I had
All of this
Before I understood
You were just a memory
Sitting cross-legged on my stool.


© Copyright 2001 JLR - All Rights Reserved
Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

1 posted 2001-03-06 07:16 PM


Oh JLR.......this is beautiful! Wonderful flow through this. Very well expressed. I loved it.

"One out of four people in this country is mentally imbalanced. Think of your three closest friends - and if they seem okay, then you're the one."

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
2 posted 2001-03-06 07:22 PM


jlr-

excellent penning! your emotions
are conveyed powerfully through this!
excellent...take care
amy

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."


2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
3 posted 2001-03-06 07:23 PM


It is so sad that we don't always get a second chance. Wish you well.
Melton

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
4 posted 2001-03-06 07:28 PM


The pangs of wishful dreaming ... I get one at least every other minute
A beautiful display of thought and ability here ... very nice

JCGF
Member
since 2001-01-19
Posts 72
MA
5 posted 2001-03-06 07:53 PM


I feel what you are writing. I want to call and just say "hi" but your writing has helped me to realize something. What I'm trying to say is nice write. Thank you soooooo much.

Takc Care,

Tammy

Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
6 posted 2001-03-07 01:25 AM


My mind screamed to close my eyes
Before my heart could see


I know that feeling. Very nice poem.

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
7 posted 2001-03-07 07:32 AM


Greatly expressed!

A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes.

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

8 posted 2001-03-07 10:07 AM


Thanks all for reading and responding. Your encouragement is so appreciated.
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2001-03-07 01:04 PM


sometimes. . . it's better to not have that chance. . .

wonderful. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

10 posted 2001-03-07 03:25 PM


ORIGINAL ...I like that, it was original

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


ParisGrl
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610

11 posted 2001-03-07 06:06 PM


R.J.

I absolutely loved this poem! its great! you should put a collection of your poems together. Keep writing my friend and i will keep reading. :-)

~Laura~

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2001-03-07 09:32 PM


JLR,

Somedays our hearts play tricks on our eyes. It is never easy to let go, but sometimes it is for the best. Best of luck to you.

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
13 posted 2001-03-08 12:51 PM


When any relationship ends, we seem to be reminded of that person everywhere we are and when we least expect it. This is beautiful.

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
14 posted 2001-03-08 01:03 AM


I know sweet friend...and I think you just keep getting better and better...HUGS
ATelamon
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up
15 posted 2001-03-08 01:07 AM


Oh RJ

"To rewrite the ending"

How many of us, nay easier to count how few of us, have felt that way.

An analogy: You sit listening in studio, car, home, of a NEAR flawless recording. A song it has taken you literally Years to write. And the recording has EVERYTHING, all the impact, emotions, just totally conveys EXACTLY,(or as close as you can get with band) to what DROVE you all those years to make that song, and just as it gets really good, EVERYBODY FALLS APART. Near perfect turned into a train wreck.
ACKKKKKKKKKKKKK this means nothing. I could workk on a song or book froever and never feel 1/10000th of the pain, a single heartbeat can bring.

I told you, I find the nepenthe, you can have some.
Well that is an incredibly (hey it could have been much longer with Francais, mer ci)
I know, but that is about as close to English as I get.

You wrote it well. I just wish you never had to write it at all.

Be Well
AT


"Learning to listen, learning to see. Learning is Power, making me free. Free to believe again, in my Human side...Be a Good Day." Jon Anderson

[This message has been edited by ATelamon (edited 03-08-2001).]

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

16 posted 2001-03-08 02:49 AM


"A second chance to change the days, the words, the pain, to rewrite the ending"

hi JLR, your poem tugged at the very core of my heart...

Excellent writing PoetFriend
~coco~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » Mirage

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary