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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
|
|
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| Open Poetry #12 |
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Mirage |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Mirage This afternoon I wasn’t even thinking about you When I walked into the other room And saw you there Sitting cross-legged on my stool. My mind screamed to close my eyes Before my heart could see Too late, my throat went tight and dry Breath stopped, I missed a step and hoped that no one noticed. A second chance To change the days, the words, the pain To rewrite the ending Into a never ending song. A second chance To love you The way I wish I had All of this Before I understood You were just a memory Sitting cross-legged on my stool. |
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| © Copyright 2001 JLR - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Oh JLR.......this is beautiful! Wonderful flow through this. Very well expressed. I loved it.  "One out of four people in this country is mentally imbalanced. Think of your three closest friends - and if they seem okay, then you're the one." |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
jlr- excellent penning! your emotions are conveyed powerfully through this! excellent...take care amy "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
It is so sad that we don't always get a second chance. Wish you well. Melton |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
The pangs of wishful dreaming ... I get one at least every other minute A beautiful display of thought and ability here ... very nice |
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JCGF Member
since 2001-01-19
Posts 72MA |
I feel what you are writing. I want to call and just say "hi" but your writing has helped me to realize something. What I'm trying to say is nice write. Thank you soooooo much. Takc Care, Tammy |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
My mind screamed to close my eyes Before my heart could see I know that feeling. Very nice poem. |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Greatly expressed! A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes. |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Thanks all for reading and responding. Your encouragement is so appreciated. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
sometimes. . . it's better to not have that chance. . . wonderful. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
ORIGINAL ...I like that, it was original Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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ParisGrl Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610 |
R.J. I absolutely loved this poem! its great! you should put a collection of your poems together. Keep writing my friend and i will keep reading. :-) ~Laura~ |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
JLR, Somedays our hearts play tricks on our eyes. It is never easy to let go, but sometimes it is for the best. Best of luck to you. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
When any relationship ends, we seem to be reminded of that person everywhere we are and when we least expect it. This is beautiful. Sauni Sauni :) Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I know sweet friend...and I think you just keep getting better and better...HUGS |
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
Oh RJ "To rewrite the ending" How many of us, nay easier to count how few of us, have felt that way. An analogy: You sit listening in studio, car, home, of a NEAR flawless recording. A song it has taken you literally Years to write. And the recording has EVERYTHING, all the impact, emotions, just totally conveys EXACTLY,(or as close as you can get with band) to what DROVE you all those years to make that song, and just as it gets really good, EVERYBODY FALLS APART. Near perfect turned into a train wreck. ACKKKKKKKKKKKKK this means nothing. I could workk on a song or book froever and never feel 1/10000th of the pain, a single heartbeat can bring. I told you, I find the nepenthe, you can have some. Well that is an incredibly (hey it could have been much longer with Francais, mer ci) I know, but that is about as close to English as I get. You wrote it well. I just wish you never had to write it at all. Be Well AT "Learning to listen, learning to see. Learning is Power, making me free. Free to believe again, in my Human side...Be a Good Day." Jon Anderson [This message has been edited by ATelamon (edited 03-08-2001).] |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
"A second chance to change the days, the words, the pain, to rewrite the ending" hi JLR, your poem tugged at the very core of my heart... Excellent writing PoetFriend ~coco~ |
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