navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » Another Sin (with new & improved non-illegal language)
Open Poetry #12
Post A Reply Post New Topic Another Sin (with new & improved non-illegal language) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-03-06 12:12 PM


He reminds himself to see,
To remember what it’s like
To still feel
And for each wound he’ll bear
Are reminders to the world
That he is still there
In debt to the price paid
Worth more than the simple tokens
At his feet laid
For the sacrifices are far greater
Than the rewards sometimes,
But make good theater

He tempers his resolve
With faltering confidence
In his world revolved
Reliving moments in his mind
With a cold, cruel cut
Each and every time
Penance exacted once again
By another form of prayer
For another kind of sin


© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2001-03-06 01:14 PM


He tempers his resolve
With faltering confidence
In his world revolved
Reliving moments in his mind
With a cold, cruel cut

.......sad......I didn't see the other poem but this one I could feel

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-03-06 01:23 PM


Thank you, PK....
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
3 posted 2001-03-06 02:00 PM


Didn't realize it read a certain way to some people. Never was meant along those same lines as others have done. Thanks.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-03-06 02:31 PM


He reminds himself to see,
To remember what it’s like
To still feel
And for each wound he’ll bear
Are reminders to the world
That he is still there
====================
For the sacrifices are far greater
Than the rewards sometimes,
But make good theater

He tempers his resolve
With faltering confidence
In his world revolved
Reliving moments in his mind
With a cold, cruel cut
Each and every time
Penance exacted once again
By another form of prayer
For another kind of sin
=============================

a masterful penning of metaphor and rhyme PK ...
as well as an intense expression of emotional angst and irony.
yes, the reader does indeed feel this ones depth and impact.

"He reminds himself to see,
To remember what it’s like
To still feel"

"By another form of prayer
For another kind of sin"


very well done poet sir ... as always.
(thanks for the poetic fixx) *S*




Some find subtlety in strangers
some find subtlety alone
Your eyes,you see everything
my eyes,I see its all together now
and I know.
~candlebox~

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
5 posted 2001-03-06 03:09 PM


You're welcome. *S*
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2001-03-06 03:25 PM


Well apparently I missed the illegal version. This has an air of doom to it that suits my mood. You have a unique style, and well suited to the darker verse--another beauty!
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
7 posted 2001-03-06 03:44 PM


Thank you. Join me on the dark side.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » Another Sin (with new & improved non-illegal language)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary