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Perfection
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Perfection |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
 Another day passes...my heart aflutter once again; I’m not going to do anything until I’ve envisioned you here, Holding me tight...whispering to me of your affection. I’ve surrendered to this blanket of love covering me... Within my reach is the affection I’ve lived for. In your soul is the sweet love I’ve dreamed of... No more do I wonder...it’s all laid out before me; Just close that door...you’re the only one in sight. How could I see past those hazel windows? Why in the world would I look beyond that heart of gold? Even if these words don’t come out the way I originally intended... So what if my plans have been slightly altered? Who am I to question When a butterfly lands on my lap, Just when I was about to get up and leave? What right do I have to second guess When fate sends me an angel? Rays of light from behind the thin overcast Shine directly onto my hopeful face... Your countenance throws my heart into a frenzy... I could never try to craft these words any other way. I’ve been inspired by that song you’ve been singing lately... Teach me the lines to that beautiful tune. I will not be dismayed when the snow falls Onto the spring flowers I’ve planted; I will not lie down when the storm rages In the midst of my meadow of dreams... Interferences could never take away from these fantasies... The sudden interruption of weather won’t impair this reverie. Dearest love, look at me... The sun intensely shines, Further illuminating the radiance with which You’ve already adorned this existence... The flowers are in full bloom...the scent of the ocean declares spring... Nothing could complement me quite the way you do... everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips... every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips... |
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
Great last line. Thats one phrase says so much. Well done. AT "There is one and only one question worth asking or aswering." |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
There's that butterfly again! Enjoy and please, write about every minute of it. I will believe your dream until again I hold my own. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I will not be dismayed when the snow falls Onto the spring flowers I’ve planted; I will not lie down when the storm rages In the midst of my meadow of dreams... Interferences could never take away from these fantasies... The sudden interruption of weather won’t impair this reverie. ================= excellent imagery and comparisons of nature and emotions emotive outpouring of devotion great writing SP!! perfect graphic too  Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain. ~Kahlil Gibran~ |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Who am I to question When a butterfly lands on my lap, Just when I was about to get up and leave? What right do I have to second guess When fate sends me an angel?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Love this!  SEA |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
kris~ wow, wow, and WOW!! this is just amazingly written....you are on fire my dear friend...love seeing you write like this! every line and stanza is poetry in motion...exquisite in both content & emotion. don't normally do this but... "Your countenance throws my heart into a frenzy... I could never try to craft these words any other way. I’ve been inspired by that song you’ve been singing lately... Teach me the lines to that beautiful tune." ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ this is just so captivating and magical....beautiful *sighs* and this... "Further illuminating the radiance with which You’ve already adorned this existence... The flowers are in full bloom...the scent of the ocean declares spring... Nothing could complement me quite the way you do..." _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ this rocks! seems you are the butterfly sweets...with a heart full of gold...i wish you the best of luck w/ all of this...just beautiful Kris..wonderful write. into my favs this surely goes take care love ya girlie. aims ~~~~~ "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
The whole poem sang beauty...but the last line wrapped it up so well and left a feeling of peace with it. Great work SP...the thoughts you wove in poetry shine~ "I wish the real world would just stop Hasseling me!" Real World MB20 |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
oh my........you definitely chose the "PERFECT" title as this piece is just that. Not only in it's emotions and sincerity but in it's penning. You share some mighty lovely images here my friend and now it is the student teaching the teacher just where and how to stretch the lines of imagery in verse. I am in awe at your talent and your growth. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
AT: why thank you...I'm glad you liked it! JLR: thanks! I'm glad you could stop by!! And, I'm sure you will have a dream of your own very soon!  JM: yeah...those are my personal 'favorite' lines, too...  ...but thank you, my friend, for your thoughtful comments! I truly appreciate it! SEA: why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Aims: on fire? MMM HMM... ...seriously, girlie...you are too sweet. thank you for your always-enthusiastic replies...but, what would I expect from my sole fan club member??? heheYer da best, girlie!! -e ~~~~ butterflies: thank you so much! it's good to see you around here again! I am glad that you liked this! Mark: wow...now, I appreciate your always so thoughtful reply, BUT, student teaching the teacher? um...not sure 'bout that one, m'friend. But, I will take the 'awe.' Thank you, my dear friend!  sp everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips... every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips... |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Snowpants, This is very beautiful. There is a sense of sadness to it and uncertainty captivated here that projects what some of us have to struggle with in our lovelife. Excellently expressed! A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Thank you, walker...I am glad you liked this! sp do I believe we'd be better off apart? can I see my world without you in it? baby, not for a single minute... |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
BUMP!!!! sorry but i loved this... |
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Kerri S Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 61Rhode Island |
I love this poem not only does it show emotions but the words bring you into your own imagination. The picture you posted with your poem is wonderful as well Kerri |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Aims: don't be sorry, girlie...sheesh...yer da best!! thanks!! -e ~~~~~~ Kerri: thank you for your kind reply! I am glad you liked this!! sp do I believe we'd be better off apart? can I see my world without you in it? baby, not for a single minute... |
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