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Open Poetry #12

control

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2001-03-02 01:18 PM

The gun in my hand is a sign of control.
Yesterday’s one night stand was a sign of control.
The unchosen bed is a sign of control.
What I just said is a sign of control.

The books stacked and read are a sign of control.
The love packed in lead is a sign of control.
The reset clock is a sign of control.
The window-thrown rock is a sign of control.

The blood and the sweat were a sign of control.
The mud on my ‘Vette is a sign of control.
The innocence slurred was a sign of control.
The sin and scents stirred were a sign of control.

The god in my head was a sign of control.
What I trusted instead was a sign of control.
Who I chose for a wife is a sign of control.
Ignoring my life has lost all control.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-03-02 01:42 PM

Mike~ this is great....the ending, powerful

SEA

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2001-03-02 01:46 PM

Hi, SEA. Glad you enjoyed.

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

3 posted 2001-03-02 03:08 PM

what a topic you chose, you just described me and mine...I am the last line.....great writing mike

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2001-03-02 08:50 PM

Thanks, jellybeans.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-03-03 05:47 PM

your so cool.....
very cool inner rhyme scheme here...
added to the reads building pace leading to the reality slap of the last line
like the satire and statement as well
way cool groovy squirrel poet

Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain.
~Kahlil Gibran~

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