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Poetic Justice
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Poetic Justice |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Stinging slap-- of silence felt. Playing my hand, with the cards you dealt. (Realizing now) just how well you play this game. Me, the moth ... you, the flame, Heaven and Hell-- (one in the same.) You read me for weak? I mistook you for kind? In the slow burn of you (admission made) I completely lost my mind. I put you on a pedestal, worshiped you on bended knee. Blinded by your beauty, the subtle seduction of your poetry. You fell off the pedestal, yet ... I wear the bruises. (poetic justice I ask? ) ... should the one who gave the most-- be the one who loses? (Isn't it ironic) ... you can't live out the words you write. Your emotional intensity, your pens gift evident under poetic light. While flying in your flame ... your heat filled my pen with fire. (even the memory of you) left me singed ... but still so sweetly inspired. Now all the words fade to cliche' (my words are wasted on you) and it all leaves me (and my muse) so uninspired--so damn tired. (Left behind and wondering) why was I never given the return-- of my shared, sincere, respect. Was that just too much (for a moth like me) to ever hope for or expect? The truth when given time ... always shows itself, your true colors bleed in the end. Actions always speak louder than words, (and you're off trying to kiss a friend?). Yet even now, (ever the moth) ... I wont think of you with regret. you were a taste of something fine, (another) hard learned lesson-- I wont soon forget. What you never understood, all my intentions were good at best. Still none of this seems to matter anymore, (for with these words) ... I lay my pen of you to rest. ********** a special note of thanks to Mark ... for all your editing, support, patience, and help with this piece ... most of all for your friendship. Thank you cowboy ... never doubt "I preeeciate ya"  LOL********** Leave by Matchbox 20 from the cd: Mad Season It's amazing how you make your face just like a wall how you take your heart and turn it off how I turn my head and lose it all It's unnerving how just one move puts me by myself there you go just trusting someone else **now I know I put us both through hell** **I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong** I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me ** And I'm not saying we ever had the right to hold on** I just didn't wanna let it get away from me ******** Unkind by: Tabitha's Secret from the cd: Dont Play With Matches Bring it on baby, what's with sudden devotion I trade a river of tears for just a little emotion You can curse my name, pin it up with my picture And say it's the last time that I'll be around to be around Oh well I'm torn and I'm tattered So the thoughts in my head they get scattered And pain gives me the right to be unkind And it set's me here And here I'll stand like it matters Only once gets through then gets scattered by the rain But pain gives me the right to be unkind And it sets me here Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain. ~Kahlil Gibran~ |
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| © Copyright 2001 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Justice comes in many forms and in the end it all comes to how you look at yourself in the end. This piece of yours is a wonderful piece of poetic stretching for you and I loved every minute of helping you with it though I must admit that my contributions were quite small. You have a wonderful feel for poetry my sweet friend and it shows in every write and reply you do. It is not often that we run across someone who truely understands what it is about poetry that captivates us all but we can at least say that in knowing you that we do. Your mix of line breaks tied in with a wonderful compliment of pauses and meter in this piece are simply nothing less than sheer enjoyment and your careful attention to making sure the rhyme pattern hits just right makes this creation of yours one to cherish and say think of the time when we can say ... I knew her when. So glad you decided to post sweetness.  Cowboy is happy and dancing the jig to your song of freedom. Hugs and smooches dear one.  |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Strength. I read much strength in this piece, and I applaud you for your effort and for your every movement of the pen. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This? is just so appropriate this morning...as well as your constructive critique..."we can't grow..if we don't know.."---  gonna smile if I have to drink tequila before noon today? Hmmmm....  Think I can handle it? lol...awesome poem...always helps to know your subject well! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet--Aside from all that Mark said about your poetic capabilities...of which there are many, and I could never say it as well as he has, so I will echo him if I may, this poem is so full of strength. It seems a small moth has filled up and exploded and is no longer flitting, but free. I applaud you! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
" Me, the moth ... you, the flame, Heaven and Hell-- (one in the same.) You read me for weak? I mistook you for kind? In the slow burn of you (admission made) I completely lost my mind." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know this too well..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You fell off the pedestal, yet ... I wear the bruises. should the one who gave the most-- be the one who loses? (Isn't it ironic) ..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ touching a memory here............ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ " I wont soon forget. What you never understood," ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ me either....... Oh Janet, this hits so close to places within my heart............opens memories, I try to forget.... this is beautiful, strong writing......I love this SEA |
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SwEeTnSeXy18 Member
since 2000-09-18
Posts 247nc |
Janet~ wow...u know how huge a fan of yours i am...but this takes it to the next level. this is a different style of writing for you, and i love it! so powerful, so intense...just the way you put this together is quite amazing in and of itself...combined with it's message and its absoultely stunning! amazing write... take care love ya amy ~in order to gain, you have to lose~ |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
ok its me now lol... sorry about that before but lisa says awesome poetry too love ya amy "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Wow Janet....I love this one...you really said what you felt....great work. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
From the first word, I tumbled straight into knowing... I just don't know whether the ache I feel is for you or me... I know the admiration is for your strength. *S* You've drawn a line drawn in the sand with poetic perfection.... I can only applaud. *S* |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hey, Butterfly Slippers! A carefully measured and crafted bomb of righteous anger and injustice. I loved it. Man, that flame burns in all the right spots. Mike |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I find myself in this situation more times than I like...most relationships turn out to be learning experiences for me...I should have been more careful before taking that step towards love...hurts to take it alone...James |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
wow...shakes her head* wow...can I just ditto all of the above, it touches me in so many ways...and yep lady it echos strength...as hard as it is to let go, one finds a strength in standing on your own...great write lady.....does me good to read it |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Incredible JM, just simply incredible...such bitterness, such a sting this piece has...I loved how the phrases in parethesis added so much...made me feel like I was seeing every part of the struggle, of the pain...this is phenomenal, I'm so glad I got the chance to read..  Peace and light to you, my friend. *Krista Knutson* "Can't run fast enough Can't hide I can't fly I'm struggling with the limits of this ordinary life..." ~Tracy Chapman |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, I don't know what brought this on but Randy charged up his fire snort and flew the coop. I think he is comming down your way to singe the culpred. I know the power of your pen and this is another fine example of it. I felt the slap clear down to florida. I hope it isn't anyone I know. Winliewinkie Stinky |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'Me, the moth ... you, the flame, Heaven and Hell-- (one in the same.) You read me for weak? I mistook you for kind? In the slow burn of you (admission made) I completely lost my mind. I put you on a pedestal, worshiped you on bended knee. Blinded by your beauty, the subtle seduction of your poetry. You fell off the pedestal, yet ... I wear the bruises.' Simply amazing, JM! The flow of this one just kept me reading right to the very end! Wonderful work...love this!! (great song by matchbox twenty, btw!) sp  everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips... every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips... |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Baby...you bled poetry...and it shines in this night with the wings of butterflies.....nope not moths. The pain that inspires is the same pain that gives us strength to walk on...I could kiss your little forehead for this one...you know why...yeppers baby...for the healing. The pain lets us know we are alive and the flame never looses it's warmth...no matter how hot. Purified in the Flame Still your words pull me in Drawing me to your soul Falling all over again My emotions take control Lighting my heart’s embers The overwhelming love This my heart remembers The things I still dream of Touching me so deeply And still I wanted more Consuming me completely Like nothing I’d felt before Was it to much to be real To beautiful to go on To much for one to feel Only something to wish upon Not strong enough to turn The ache reminds me I’m alive Living to feel the burn I needed your flame to survive As your memory burns today I stand frozen...my soul mystified And as the ashes blow away I’m redeemed...eternally purified "Dizzy" Tabitha's Secret and outside, the sky is falling people dodging raindrops, staying dry and inside, I never gave a damn about those outside people anyway and it hurt me they don't even know who I am and inside, there’s no rainbows and inside, I try I try I try, try to clear my head and outside, the rain is drying and inside, i'm dying 'cause in here, I’m staring at the rings my coffee cup has made on the table and in here, I know I know I know, that this is as good as it gets and in time I hope to be the one that talks about the other half until then, I count the cracks on the wall until it’s time to lay my head and inside, I play with shadows and inside, I know I know I know, that I'll feel this way all day, all day and outside, there’s hope for trying, and inside I’m dying you walk before me, Lord knows I can’t follow you walk behind me and I don’t think I can lead you walk around me, please don’t walk around me 'cause you know how dizzy I get "I wish the real world would just stop Hasseling me!" Real World MB20 |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
JM the poem is beautiful in a hurtie kind of way. Some moths are so pretty we mistake them for butterflies, so there can't be much difference. Beauty in the eye of the beholder. I can't say it as well as all of the others before me, they did a great job. Thank you for sharing both the love and the pain. Hugs, dear girl, ME |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I'm the one who can please you Ain't that what you said You seemed so alone I guess I was easily lead I showed you my love but I guess that it went to your head When you were hungry I brought you your breakfast in bed Even it up even it up! A good man pays his debt But you ain't paid yours yet I took you down over the tracks when you wanted some sin I bought you satin and herbs from places I been Now something tells me you're going to use me again You think you can lay down the how and the where and the when. Even it up even it up! I don't want to bum it all but this axe has got to fall even it up even it up!! (written by Ann and Nancy Wilson) Tell It LIke It Is ( G.Davis & L. Diamond) "If you want, something to play with go and find yourself a toy. Cause baby baby my time is much too expensive and I don't want no little boy. But if you.....if you are serious don't go playin with my heart it makes me furious but if you want me to love you baby I will ooooh yeah I will tell it like it is oh yeah just let your conscience be your guide deep down inside I believe you love me just forget your foolish pride I think life's too short for all this sorrow we may be here today gone tommorrow you might as well get what you want so go on and live baby go on and live tell it like it is don't be ashamed now just let your conscience be your guide deep down inside I believe you really love me just forget your foolish pride tell it like it is I'm nothing to play with go and find yourself a toy But I....tell it like it is my time's too expensive and I don't need no little boy.... Oh yeah c'mon tell it like it is Hardly poetic justice this poem of your speaks about my dear poet pet. However, the printed word can be as treacherous as deadly poison if it is crafted by a confidence man....it all comes down to the truth and love in the heart....like it says in the Bible...out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks...so eventually what's in the depths of the heart emerges through the mouth or written word or in some fashion of communnication...... This is a fabulous job and I'm glad Mark could help you with it because it's a tremendous poetic work.......you're still the VANtastic one! take care ethome [This message has been edited by ethome (edited 03-03-2001).] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Janet Marie, One thing I can count on is that your poetry will move me, but this astounding piece has moved me to another dimension. Wow! Write on Kethry. Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
My sincerest thank you and appreciation to everyone of you for these very sweet and understanding replies... I am touched by EACH one of them ... I promise you. For the compliments to the structure and style of the poem... thank you so much..I was trying to write in a new style(for me)-- a more expressive format and grow as a poet... you help me to know that I acheived that goal in some way with this... to those who relate to the pain, Im sorry you know the feeling. Holly and Ethome...thank you so much for the so very appropriate song verses and poetic replies.... you guys are groovy Sy...I'll be looking for Randy with bells on...*winkiewinkie* Mark...you helped more than you know...and not only with the poem. TYMSF  It was not my intention for this poem to be as much bitter or angry... it was intented to be more of a release of something held on to falsely in my mind. I personally dont think poetry should be used to hurt anyone else... and I hope my words have not ever done so. But yet we also need to vent and purge... to heal ... or in this case to take back some self respect, I gave away. There is a part of me that wishes I hadn't posted this... more so..there is that part of me that wishes I didnt ever have to write it. thank you all for always being so supportive and kind... always so way cool love to all in Poetry Land. jm Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain. ~Kahlil Gibran~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I just thought I'd reply again as I agree with your statement about how poetry should be used and considered. Janet I have never read anything of yours that was in the least demeaning or vengeful.......It's all been VAN tastic!! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
E-babes...youre too good to me...but me loves ya for it... thank you my poet-pal ... sometimes when we are hurt we do things that we later regret... There is a fine line between purging and vengenance... I hope I am always able to write my heart with out crossing that line. I personally just dont ever want my poetry to be hurtful to anyone... even when Im venting my own pain. Thank ya for understanding me so well...always. youre the one whos VAN-tastic my friend Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain. ~Kahlil Gibran~ |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
excellent write JM, a new style you do well... hope all is well with ya....hugs and peace... Greeneyes~ *** "Within you I lose myself Without you I find myself Wanting to be lost again." -Unknown |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
JanetMarie...fellow show me buddy, whoever caused you to write this is no friend of mine but it certainly produced an amazing piece of writing...this exceeds brilliant |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
JM-Thank you for your splendid words, you've touched on some sensitive memories here. I applaud your work! |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Janet--Sharply expressed and composed...wonderful writing. Poeminister |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Very cool poem here, I simply loved the expression and the emotions behind it. Could be construed as a stalker's confession in some ways, but you pulled it off nicely. You never cease to amaze me. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
GE, Dear Deer, Gemini, PM, & PK, thank you for the kind words and compliments. Im glad you all found some personal meaning in my words. Its my pleasure to see your names here. take care jm It's amazing how you make your face just like a wall how you take your heart and turn it off how I turn my head and lose it all MB20 |
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