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Open Poetry #12
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kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-02-26 09:00 PM


an intruding beep
an inanimate message
"the sky is clear tonight"

slowly squashed
to exasperating existence
by overbearing obligations

I marvelled at how
you found your delight
in the distant stars,
not remotely relevant
to our lives

p/s:I did go out and witness the majesty of the stars though

© Copyright 2001 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2001-02-26 10:21 PM


This is too good to be on the bottom of the page already. A bump because I enjoyed this very much and think others should see it.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-02-26 10:35 PM


Heavenly perspective, kaile. Very nicely described.

LW

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
3 posted 2001-02-27 11:27 PM


Hi Kaile,

"I marvelled at how
you found your delight
in the distant stars,
not remotely relevant
to our lives"

This piece is spectacular I mean it and the lines above amazing, I have found this to be so true of a statement, to my library thank you so much, I just love finding such goodies,

Love, Cerenity


"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)



VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2001-02-27 11:56 PM


OOOhhhhh, I'm glad you took time to take them in...He didn't put them there to just 'hang' but to sparkle the night and enamor your dreams...surely!
Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
5 posted 2001-02-28 12:04 PM


Truly amazing and beautiful! I loved this one!

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-02-28 05:29 AM


The stars witnessed to you didn't they?

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2001-02-28 05:49 AM


I don't know Kaile but the others are commenting on the beauty of the stars which I agree are so beautiful...but is there something else there, like maybe frustration with a mate that has gone distant on you...or maybe it's just me...whichever it's a very thought provoking write!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
8 posted 2001-02-28 09:03 AM


Ethome,

I thought the same as you, thats why I thought it was so wonderful how she put it, I find this happening all of the time to me and I think this very way, but the way she put it was just so perfect,

Cerenity

mystic requiem
Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144

9 posted 2001-02-28 09:08 AM


Wonderful insight to how someone has chosen the
best in the life. The stars are free for anyone to gaze
upon.
Great!!
*thanx*




[This message has been edited by mystic requiem (edited 02-28-2001).]

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-02-28 06:44 PM


distance and not relevance. . .

excellent kaile. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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