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Open Poetry #12

Sailor Beware

ATelamon
Member

since 2001-02-06

Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up

0 posted 2001-02-24 06:13 AM

Fog Light
steers me
upon reefs
of knowing
I did not in
truth disintend

Yet I always
considered the helm
the sails masters
wrought the course
by star eye sextant and hope

foolish cabin boy
so little known

The sea has plans her own
and you can only follow

"Time is merely change. It neither enslaves nor determines us. It is instead our opportunity for self-definition"

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2001-02-24 09:57 AM

isn't that the truth *s

~Wynter...

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

Meadowmuse
Member Elite

since 1999-12-27

Posts 3263

2 posted 2001-02-24 10:15 AM

Your poem stirs quite an ominous air, and I enjoyed it very much. I wonder if you have considered employing punctuation in this piece? I think it might serve to strengthen the tone of an already strong composition. Thanks for it.

Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

3 posted 2001-02-24 11:14 AM

I like this...nicely penned.

Poeminister

"Our deeds determine us as much as we determine our deeds."
--George Eliot

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