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Open Poetry #12

Opal

Jazzmole
Junior Member

since 2001-02-15

Posts 30
Texas

0 posted 2001-02-22 08:06 AM

My heart(sad forgotten he)
an opal in a riverbed.
Your voice is the water rushing,
wearing him down to the true surface
of wondrous, revealing flecks
of vibrant color.

Your eye is the sun set on
illuminated he, as so graceful you
reached down to hold a smooth, polished stone
(gently impressed upon your palm) my soul
that you, carrying for miles, cast
into your calm pool.

This peaceful only gently disturbed
by two golden fishes(gliding they)
beneath the reflection
of a thousand surrendering flowers
in love's exotically endless garden.

Michael~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-02-22 08:30 AM

Your eye is the sun set on
illuminated he, as so graceful you
reached down to hold a smooth, polished stone
(gently impressed upon your palm) my soul
that you, carrying for miles, cast
into your calm pool.
==============

outstanding use of metaphor and imagery
wonderful use of elemental comparisons to express the emotions
very cool poem ... paints a lovely scene of serene for the reader
very well done poet sir
jm

Love is my religion, I believe in nothing else.
To find that inspiration, live that inner vision.
Love is my religion...I believe in you.
~T Kimmel

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

2 posted 2001-02-22 11:37 AM

quote:
Your voice is the water rushing,

what a pretty sound....

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