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Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

0 posted 2001-02-16 03:11 AM

I know this needs help, but be gentle with me, I'm not used to criticisim. This is a cause that is close to my heart so I want to get it right.

Open your eyes and look at me,
look deep so you can see it all.
Although my skin may be darker
it doesn't stain my heart and soul.
Open your mind and think of me,
I'm not really much different to you.
I laugh and cry, work and play,
the kind of things you would do.
Open your heart and accept me
so I can live without the fear
of bigots and their racism,
in this land we both hold dear.

[This message has been edited by Dee (edited 02-16-2001).]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

1 posted 2001-02-16 05:10 AM

I do believe that you made your point beautifully and with no problems at all. If only the world could learn to see as you do then we would all be in so much better shape. Wonderful write and superbly spoken.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2001-02-16 05:13 AM

well done, no criticism from this one...huggzz and a smile

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

3 posted 2001-02-16 05:49 AM

Very good! I really enjoyed the message and the style it is an excellent read!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-02-16 02:17 PM

Dee, great to see you! I want to crit this, but when something is "close to your heart" it's a very hard thing to do! If you want me to come back please say!!!!!!

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

5 posted 2001-02-16 03:33 PM

Mark - I'm pleased you thought I did this right.
nakdthoughts - thanks for the hug and the smile.
ethome - I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Kathleen - your critisism would be welcome, I want to improve.
Thanks all,
Dee

I wish you every happiness and pray you'll always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2001-02-16 04:06 PM

No criticism from this gal. *S* Well done!

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

7 posted 2001-02-17 12:56 PM

Thanks suthern, glad you liked!

Kathleen! Come back! *S*
Dee

I wish you every happiness and pray you'll always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

8 posted 2001-02-18 03:09 AM

Great to see your work again. Your words are from the heart and get the message across so I tend to think you have it right. Take care!

"I've done all the dumb things"....Paul Kelly

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

9 posted 2001-02-18 03:09 AM

Oppps!

"I've done all the dumb things"....Paul Kelly

[This message has been edited by EagleOne (edited 02-18-2001).]

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

10 posted 2001-02-18 03:09 AM

Like the signature says!!!!!

"I've done all the dumb things"....Paul Kelly

[This message has been edited by EagleOne (edited 02-18-2001).]

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

11 posted 2001-02-18 03:09 AM

This just ain't my day! Sorry for the multiple!

"I've done all the dumb things"....Paul Kelly

[This message has been edited by EagleOne (edited 02-18-2001).]

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

12 posted 2001-02-18 09:29 AM

Dee~
This is a message that should be near and
deer to ALL of our hearts...of course if it
was there wouldn't be a problem would
there...so sad that the inside of a person
is the Last thing that many look to...this
is an excellent poem...you should be very
proud of this piece~

The chains that have once held us are
only the ones that we have made~
"Deep Water" Jewel

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

13 posted 2001-02-19 12:34 PM

Thanks for your comments Eddie, glad to see you replying ....and replying to my poem.

Butterflies - I wish it was a subject closer to more people's heart. Glad you liked it, thanks.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and pray you'll always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Bec
Member

since 2001-02-23

Posts 475
Canberra

14 posted 2001-02-24 12:33 PM

This gets a touchy and sensitive point across in a subtle way... "open your eyes" fits well

Bec

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

15 posted 2001-02-27 05:39 AM

Thanks Bec, wish it wasn't such a sensitive subject.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

16 posted 2001-10-10 08:22 AM

I wish the world could live by this it would make it a lot better place. beautiful read sweet lady

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

17 posted 2001-10-10 03:58 PM

Glad you liked it Alan. And glad you are wandering the archives. Its a nice place to hide for a while.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

18 posted 2003-01-27 11:32 AM

good message!

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