»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #12
»
Dawn-summoner (Formerly The Zoo and After)
| Open Poetry #12 |
|
Dawn-summoner (Formerly The Zoo and After) |
|
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
|
(Posted by request) Dawn-summoner We crossed the I 75 and journeyed over bridges, around and past beaten buildings, searching for the right way, past ugly towers. Both lost in an unfamiliar place, we laughed, discovering our visuality - the way our faces moved and hands talked, the car huge yet crowded with us. You have a fragility I didn’t see until it released through your eyes - those kind things - your delicacy unshuttered as you self-conciously removed your hat, ran a hand through your hair. You were embarrassed our time was below my expectation, worried it was not enough. What do animals think about, you said and felt foolish, but I felt the warmth of your shoulder against mine while we walked, smiling at the sparity of wire cages, relating memories and events in places foreign to the other. Then you ached in that moment I can’t quite recall, and the tyres drove us away, past the concrete, past the trees warmly reciting winter. You wanted me to read poetry in that bookstore where I found ‘The Bridges of Madison County,’ ironically. Too shy, I declined, and you bought my favourite collection, just because it was. I ache now, silent of you, shocked that you are such. Before going out I stared at watered pools made green by dye, and at a train, whose music had ceased on the track for some undelivered reason. When I came back it had gone, but the thought of you remained; My emptiness a reminder of the flight awaiting. I’ll fly back over the Grand Canyon, over snow, and long roads so straight I could measure the distance of continents. I’ll arrive in L.A. and ascend to clouds again. The roads will smell of heat, tar, and haunted by you and this wintered America, I’ll remember crows, and jeeps and your Southern tones. Monday came, and ice on the road, hope. We compared the tremors of our hands, I thought of trains and passage, your arms - like peace - around me. You will not rob my life, you said, and we cried. The tears of truth faded the course of rain from the windows, as we sat above the dam, facing separation, knowing there was nothing simple contained within the sacrifice. My twenty five years and yours of forty cannot align, yet you gave me stars and understanding - this green moon will remember. For you Jamie, my dear envisioner of a starred heaven, in honour of the 12th, and thanks for giving me the words for the longest poem I've ever been able to write... © K.Mahony 2001 ...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment... T.G.M. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Tears on my cheeks....a wonderful poem Kamla. |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thankyou Sharon - and one of the hardest... K ...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment... T.G.M. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I understand. |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Sigh ... I don't have your strength, Kamla ... when I traveled the miles and found the feeling, I just never left ... *shrug* Wonderful writing. Linda |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Life is short...love is rare - that's all I have to say about that! |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Sharon's right... Be well, K...hugs..  Waft every crest upon your destined sea. Embrace the Wave of Serendipity, Lest its elusive arcane ecstasy Refurl with sail for all eternity. |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
your talent for penning words is as strong as the draw of your magnetism... .. and lacking your talent, I can only say it is I who must thank you, of the waking magic. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
broke my heart...oh...my lovely K....HUGS |
||
|
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~I quietly read much of your work and well,...this, this example of your transportation of thoughts and images to the reader, is why. You are indeed a talented writer and one in which I will continue to read. Thanks for posting this. *Peace you. |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla--to open your heart this way is to be vulnerable...a scary but wonderful place to be...thanks for sharing your trip...hugs! |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You have a fragility I didn’t see until it released through your eyes - those kind things - your delicacy unshuttered as you self-conciously removed your hat, ran a hand through your hair. ==================== I ache now, silent of you, shocked that you are such. Before going out I stared at watered pools made green by dye, and at a train, whose music had ceased on the track for some undelivered reason. When I came back it had gone, but the thought of you remained; My emptiness a reminder of the flight ===================== You will not rob my life, you said, and we cried. The tears of truth faded the course of rain from the windows, as we sat above the dam, facing separation, knowing there was nothing simple contained within the sacrifice. My twenty five years and yours of forty cannot align, yet you gave me stars and understanding - this green moon will remember. ======================= Oh my my my ... you have taken the breath from this sharer of butterfly... Kamala, this is outstanding ... what a emotive intensely beautiful outpouring of your heart and soul. amazing depth of encompassing and expressing these moments of discovery. excellence from your pen sweet poet In the evening when you see my eyes Looking back at you no disguise Im not sure who you think youll see Im just hoping youll still know that its me |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
K, my heart goes out to you my friend. . . this is the finest that you have ever written. . . thank you for sharing it with us. . . and I know. . . and I agree with Sharon!!   --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ok, let me start with the form, this is great, the break of the 4 line verses, combined with complete sentence structure not only adds to the emphasis you bring out, but it makes it an even more interesting read. Now on to content.....wow...the meeting of 2 friends...I haven't read it put with so much compassion and caring...wow...really nice work k. thanks for sharing this |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This is stunning... and so very painful. When so much is right but what isn't can't be ignored... the last couple of verses leave me breathless. |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
It's painful but it is spectacular in form and kept me glued to the end. "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
||
|
ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Dear Kamala; You read this to me today, and read it so beautifully too. This is pure poetry and exquisitely written, a delight to read again. I was so blessed to be with you today. What a beautiful person you are! I do hope we meet again. Love, Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is wonderful, Kamla! You certainly captured the flavor of the south and two people sharing very well..thank you for pointing it out.... Of COURSE 25 and 40 don't mix..he's much too young!!! You need a more mature guy...like me! big silly....signing off  |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
It was one of the highlights of the day having heard you read this. Very touching and very beautifully expressed! HUGS |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thankyou all for your lovely, supportive words on this piece... time will tell hey? And 'deer - you get the jet and we'll see heh. (Not a chance bud...)  K...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment... T.G.M. |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
J |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
