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Open Poetry #12
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Timing is everything
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Timing is everything |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
Timing is everything or so they say but timing is nothing if you can't make up your mind. If your steps stutter back and forth and the opportune moment before your very eyes grows stale. Timing is nothing if you can't reach out and seize the golden ring; the ups and down the round and rounds simply recording your winding down. Timing is nothing if you let it slip away. |
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| © Copyright 2001 zoe - All Rights Reserved | |||
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
.... actually, timing is everything for all the same reasons you wrote here.... it's all in how it's phrased, y'know? enjoyed this much, you did a great job with it... nice to see you again (yep, i'd recognize you anywhere *wink*... hehe).... thanks for joining us in writing this challenge... it's interesting to see everyone's unique perspectives, isn't it?  |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
yep I know...thanks...not many challenges I ever have time for...or even have time to know are around in time to play...lolol...guess its that timing thing again huh? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
but timing is nothing if you can't make up your mind. ================= Timing is nothing if you can't reach out and seize the golden ring; the ups and down the round and rounds simply recording your winding down. Timing is nothing if you let it slip away. ============== very cool perspective here ... I really like how you wrote from the reverse side of the time theme... this is great work ... welcome to Passions zoe. nice to have you here take care jm Where the touch of the lover ends And the soul of the friend begins There's a need to be separate and a need to be one And a struggle neither wins |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Another well-written piece about time...wonderful write! Nathan |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Timing sure seems to make all the difference... And my timing always sucks. *G* I like this... especially the ending! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I'm with Suthern on this one - my timing SUCKS too...lol sigh more great perception on this one. My suggestion for this piece would be to break it up a little... ie: Timing is everything or so they say but timing is nothing if you can't make up your mind. If your steps stutter back and forth and the opportune moment before your very eyes grows stale. Timing is nothing if you can't reach out and seize the golden ring; the ups and down the round and rounds simply recording your winding down. Timing is nothing if you let it slip away. Breaking up for ease of flow... your thoughts?  K...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment... T.G.M. |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
JM, thank you, your comments very much appreciated, you always reach out and touch with your heart Nate thank you much Suthern, what can I say...I wrote the thing, so I must know something about sucky timing Severn I really appreciate the time you have spent critiquing my poems, all three I posted yesterday were written in a hurry and I must confess slacking on the punctuation, and at the same time, it is a slacking on consideration for the reader, I really do like the way you spaced it, it gives it a much easier reading feeling...thanks again |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You're very welcome, Zoe... K...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment... T.G.M. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
like JM, i too think this is a very cool perspective to base your poem upon... to make each day count!  |
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