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Open Poetry #12
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Yesterday
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Yesterday |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
You know I miss you today, more than yesterday. Yesterday, I found a smile I inhaled and exhaled without a sigh in between, I even had an appetite. I had almost forgotten what that was like. You are back today, well, not you, you are still just as gone as the day before, but my missing you is present and accounted for. If I only could request a few more yesterdays and not the days before, I think one day at a time I could get over you. I should be able, I have done it once before. [This message has been edited by zoe (edited 02-12-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 zoe - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I hope it works out for you, sometimes those yesterdays, and tomorrows get so mixed up they don't know how to become today... nice first post, welcome "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! This is a very nice entrance into a wonderful world...and please be sure to check your e-mail for a special message! |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
thanks, both of you, i always write 'missing you' poems when i get depressed...they just seem to go together...maybe if i can get my days right, i can get on with it.....sigh |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
Welcome to Passions. This is a very nice first post. I especially liked your conclusion. Sometimes it would be nice to go back to yesterdays, wouldn't it? To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I, too, like the missing you poetry. Loved yours. Our styles are somewhat similar. This was a really great first post. Glad I read, looking very forward to more! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
welcome my friend. . . this is wonderful. . . yesterdays are nice. . . but sometimes, tomorrows are better. . .  ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
If you find a way to get some of those yesterdays, let me know. Welcome to the family! |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Welcome to Passions! Great first post! Sad, but a good post...but, I'm sure you'll find that there are lots of wonderful friends here! sp  everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips... every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading your poem...James |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
zoe, welcome to passions. what a lovely but sad entrance. I look forward to reading more of your work. Dee I wish you every happiness and pray you'll always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Welcome to passions Enjoy the read |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Welcome, zoe, powerful post that is a strong reflection of feelings I think we may have all had at one time or more. I've been taking one day at a time for so long now, though, that I'm having an emotional conflict or is it an intellectual conflict with how that philosophy stands against the advice to 'plan and set goals for oneself.' Thanks for posting, hope to see more of your stuff, yep, the stuff you are made of. |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
zoe, I like you yesterday poem much! I have a son-in-law with a business called "Free Tomorrow", well tomorrow never comes either! We lose both ways. Welcome and hugs, ME |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Welcome... I not only like this piece I also understand believe me. I believe this kind of thing might well soon be my own reality. My suggestions for this piece as usual stem around punctuation. In freeverse, punc is a difficult thing - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I think the fact that your lines are so short make the punctuation somewhat burdensome, and I really don't think it is necessary at all in this piece. For eg: 'If I only could request a few more yesterdays and not the days before, I think one day at a time I could get over you. I should be able, I have done it once before.' If you take out the punctuation it reads like this: If I only could request a few more yesterdays and not the days before I think one day at a time I could get over you I should be able I have done it once before without the punctuation the short sentences provide their own pauses, and spaces, and rhythm. What do you think?  K...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment... T.G.M. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
*whew* just can't get it right today, maybe Ishould try for yesterday [This message has been edited by jellybeans (edited 02-13-2001).] |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
kcsgrandma, yes, it would....specially when yesterday is better than today thanksJLR thank you for the welcome, I haven't had time to read much, but will watch for yours also Sven, thank you, and yep, guess the hope of better tomorrows is what keeps us going PVD, well, a welcome is nice, but guess this family is mine to stay, thank you much Snowpants, James Michael, Dee, and Vandana thank you, appreciate the welcome and the comments VAS, I understand totally, I have discussed this one day at a time philosophy before also, and yep, I think you are right, it gets you through one day at a time, but if you really want to change, you have to do the groundwork and planning it takes to make it successful...course, I haven't gotten there yet. thank you Mother Earth, thank you, and yep smiles@Free Tomorrow... Severn, I know, I know, again, punctuation, I used to believe that a line break in free verse was the same as a pause, and I was even complimented on my readability, then in another critiquing forum I ran up against a strict punctuation freak who thought I was trying to force the reader to read my way, when I could be helping them to pause and reflect with comma's dashes etc. So now my poetry is jumbled, I really would rather leave off the punctuation, I really believe that the form leads the reader, but then I get punctuation guilt...and start adding some here and there lol......thanks for the time you have spent with my poems |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'm not sure getting over is an option, even one day at a time... but I sure would love to order up enough yesterdays to last my lifetime! *S* Instead "my missing you is present and accounted for." Yup... (nodding) I understand this one well. *S* But you do know how to change the tears of remembering to howls of laughter, don't you? LOL... I didn't know you'd brought Sybil's act in here, too. *G* Are you SURE you're not just trying to keep me entertained? *EG* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ok, the way today is going....rofg.....maybe i should bring back jinxed.....hugs and love [This message has been edited by jellybeans (edited 02-13-2001).] |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
rofg...ok.ok..i deserve that....and yep, don't know where in the world I thought I could handle 2 at a time...and add some pesky cookies to the mix and lol...at least we got a good laugh out of it..... and yeppers lady, my caring for you is present and accounted for too but suthern? you talk like you know me?.....My name is zoe....poet and author zoe......NOT sybil........ rofg rofg |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I don't care what you call yourself... I'll call you friend and gifted poet... but you're still Sybil! LOL Yanno... this little posting reply box will let you type OVER the user name that the cookies supply. (very helpful look) LOL And suthern the know-it-all decides she'd better git while the gittin's good. *G* [This message has been edited by suthern (edited 02-13-2001).] |
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zoe Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 34 |
rofg...yeah, but that would mean I would actually have to pay attention....aren't the cookies supposed to do that for you? and that gitting thing? yep, me too...wasn't even supposed to be here today and here I was all day.....hugs |
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