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Open Poetry #12
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Warmth
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Warmth |
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NerudaStar New Member
since 2001-02-09
Posts 5California, USA |
My hands are always cold Icy digits That feel no warmth No sun or fire to generate heat in my palms to thaw fingertips the enigma remains the same The question shivers And is frozen suspended in petrified blue unsure if summer will arive with freedom to ask Who is my furnace? |
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| © Copyright 2001 Laura - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
I know that feeling. Nicely expressed. Poeminister |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
"Who is my furnace?" I love this line. . . it's perfect. . . excellent. . .  ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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NerudaStar New Member
since 2001-02-09
Posts 5California, USA |
Thank you for your replies. I'm glad that you can relate to my expressions. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I like this Neruda... this part especially: the enigma remains the same The question shivers And is frozen suspended in petrified blue However, I have a suggestion - the flow of the piece is such that the capitals at the beginning of the line make the piece a little awkward. Have you thought about trying it with no capitals at all? Except for on the first line? Thanks for the read.  K- it was not an unmusical sound: long, falling, half a sigh, like wind in the wires, or a train distancing. From The Muse of Distance, A. William |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hey I love this, and these lines, wow! what imagery..... The question shivers And is frozen suspended in petrified blue. I have to agree with Severn about the capitals. Maree I may know the word but not say it I may know the truth but not face it I may hear a sound a whisper sacred and profound but turn my head indifferent. Natalie Merchant [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 03-11-2001).] |
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