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Open Poetry #12
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Le Morte D'amor
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Le Morte D'amor |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Somewhere in the night Someone will cry Waiting for love to die Neon lights won’t illuminate Darkened streets where aimless souls, Masses of flesh await Filling little vacant holes That won’t satiate Shiny diamonds of dirty glass Sparkle once, and once only Fading in twilight fast A little lost and lonely, But too bright to last So much given away too soon Can never be retrieved Where once begged for highest noon, Now all are grieved With a fainting swoon Somewhere in the night Someone did cry Waiting for love to die |
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| © Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved | |||
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
this is sad, but I like it. ~Maria~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Are you talking about me? James |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
damn!!! great lines here -- "So much given away too soon Can never be retrieved Where once begged for highest noon, Now all are grieved With a fainting swoon" ain't it the truth? love can do that, y'know? well, i guess you do! you wrote it! LOL thanks for the read... very well done you want to be a writer, don't know how or when, find a quiet place, use a humble pen-paul simon |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
this is excellent. . . really well done. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this feels so sad.........................well written  -SEA |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh...this I like very much! |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Excellent writing here PK... Very intense and captivating read... I enjoyed this very much and I thank you... ~coco~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Neon lights won’t illuminate Darkened streets where aimless souls, Masses of flesh await Filling little vacant holes That won’t satiate Shiny diamonds of dirty glass Sparkle once, and once only Fading in twilight fast A little lost and lonely, But too bright to last So much given away too soon Can never be retrieved Where once begged for highest noon, Now all are grieved With a fainting swoon ======================== excellent use of unique imagery and metaphor to accent and express the emotion. I remember this gem well. "Shiny diamonds of dirty glass Sparkle once, and once only Fading in twilight fast A little lost and lonely, But too bright to last" very very cool imagery and use of extended metaphor... and the title... way cool  Heaven bound on wings of love, there's so much that you can rise above. I surrender heart and soul, sacrificed to a higher goal. ~DepechMode~ |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
very beautiful. tenderly sad. not overdone. I liked it May your dreams always dance to the rhythm of a lover's heartbeat... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
JM said it best...I will only say that I was quite touched by the lost feelings you imparted... thank you... |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
More true words have never been spoken and you spoke them brilliantly. I loved the images that lifted from the page in this one and as a couple of others have said.....way cool use of metaphors. Brilliant writing. If you find yourself stranded in a storm ...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
very sad, but beautiful flow and great construct...I look forward to more! |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
I'm so glad this one seemed to strike people a certain way. It came from a very fertile and personal part of my mind. |
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